Illusionistic

2007-09-24T15:09:00.000+08:00

It's not like I'm leaving.

I'm just waltzing.

2007-09-20T23:22:00.001+08:00

PC Ipod player. Muahahaha. I can't choose a nicer colour cos it doesn't look nice against my background. =x

Some pop songs, some R&B songs, mostly love songs from my usual playlist and some random songs I picked on the site because it's nice. xD

-

Emaths was first period, and Miss Lim came in very happily. The class thinks it's got something to do with her love life. Lol. PE was some work finally. (Not a good one anyway.) Had to do napfa cos I fell out during napfa days. x.x (talk about the 2.4 later)

English teacher was kind enough to let us revise amaths. I can't remember what I was doing, slacking and making millions, I think. Amaths test is.......... careless. And yeah, I'm not up to it. Somehow.

Waited for Stella after school for her Chem spa cos she said she's gonna run 2.4 with me. Ended up only me using the threadmill near the old canteen. -.- SO PAISEH LA. lol. Okay, then when I'm left with about 500m or around there, I lost balance, LOL. But never fly out of the threadmill la! I just felt giddy and couldn't stand properly. Would've passed if I didn't rest for so long. :( GAHHHH.

Okay, I seriously think I'm weak.

Your breath is what I take in,
your love is where I live in.

2007-09-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

2007-09-19T20:27:00.000+08:00

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Dont stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

Collide by Howie Day

2007-09-18T00:17:00.000+08:00

When you've learnt to love you'll have realised
Love don't need a reason

When you've learnt to love you'll have realised
The one you love don't have to love you back

When you've learnt to love you'll have realised
To give your love is the same as receiving back

When you've learnt to love you'll have realised
Love was not all that you thought it was

When you've learnt to love you'll have realised
All it takes is to be yourself

When you've learnt to love you'll have realised
Love hurts as much as it radiates happiness

When you've learnt to love you'll have realised
There's no limit and there's no expectations

When you've learnt to love you'll have realised
Love is just a word

Now I tell myself I shall bear no jealousy
I will let time reforms itself
I must go on and I must let go

2007-09-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

Everytime I fall you catch me in your embrace, but then you would walk away..

Everytime I fall in love with you
You hold me so tightly
It's not as if I'll go away
Or my love won't stay

Everytime you smile at me
And whisper into my ear
Darling with you I'll have no fear
You're the only one I hold so dear

Everytime you hold my hand
You fill the spaces between my fingers
Everytime your lips touch mine
You fill the spaces in my heart

Everytime you dance me under the moonlight
You tell me Oh darling this feels so right
Oh will you stay by my side
Oh will you continue to be my guiding light

Everytime I lay against your chest
You ask me Can you hear my love
Hear your love? I'd ask
The words in my heart goes to you

Adorned with a suit you play the piano
The sounds which flowed melody with my violin
An air of passionate fervor that strums
And fuels our love only deeper than eternity

An oath on earth we exchanged our rings
You tell me I'm tied to you I can't run
Because you'll be chasing behind me you won't let me
But then again...

Why do you walk away

It's not a fantasy, not a lie
It's not an illusion, not a reverie
I'm not living in fantasia
So tell me

You know my love is real
And forever it will

2007-09-15T00:53:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Liming & Stella! (although it's past the clock)

Had a wonderful bbq. Haha, and I'm gonna blog it head to toe.

Did the Chinese Mock 'O' Level paper in the noon. It was terrible. I thought it was easy. I THOUGHT. But yeah, terrible things happen. Then I had english oral. Terrible things happen in a row. I wasn't clear for my passage reading, I screwed up the picture conversation, and my conversation was out of point or I would say, crappish. But after terrible things comes good things don't they?

Went TM to buy presents for Stella and Liming. Then Yiliang and I waited for my brother and we took 39 to Yishun. When we reached the bbq pit (which was across this canal, and there was a bridge, but we didn't see. So we took one big round on grass to reach the pit -.-), there were people who did not book the area using our pit! So they had no choice but to let us take over.

Then they asked if they could occupy a small portion to bbq their own food, because they have their own portable pit. We agreed. Then they laughed at us saying where is our fire (we couldn't get the fire started in the beginning, when they have already started bbqing). Then we secretly laughed back at them where is their pit. LOL. Don't mess with the pros. xD It was really fun and enjoyable. :D

Before I continue, I'd like to end their part of story. They weren't chinese, and they aren't locals. But their bbqing skills I musy say, is extraordinary. They used papers and branches to start the fire in the beginning (besides charcoal). Then they bbqed pieces of raw meat, whole chickens (not just chicken wing!), whole fish (yes, head to tail! No, I think they cut the tail.).....! But they were nice enough to give us a chicken. The guys said it was good. I didn't try though. We DID book the place you know. We're already kind enough sharing with them about 1/7 of the area. Lol.
/end

Yes.. Our story. The guys came pretty late, but they helped us cook the food later on. Sat there walking around, eating chips and food, ordering food, bbqing marshmellow, feeling stinky, but happy. Hahaha. Then couples get intimate while the others stare. LOL. No, maybe not.

Cut the cake. Toffee. Yum, I like the chocolate toppings. Hehehe. Groupshot will be posted later, I don't have the cam. :D

:D Wheeeeeeee.

ilovemybrother.xD

My throat is feeling sore, choir tomorrow would be sucky. I don't even know if there's choir. No one is replying me. o.o

PS. Did I mention I saw HHDSG today?

That was so, 8 months ago.

2007-09-12T15:57:00.000+08:00

I hate gorilla.

Not the animal, but the person whom I rather call that.

Words won't describe my hatred, so I shan't bother. It's so deep to the point I can't understand it.

My mum says I'm crazy, I rather wish to stand on the grounds that I'm only acting aquarius (the part of being rebellious).

I don't regret ever hating gorilla since last year. Instead, I'm glad the hatred has fueled again. At least now I won't feel bad about being noisy in class anymore. I'll even add on to the noise. I don't wish to give you my saddest sympathy, I'm not sorry.

"Teachers are hypocrites in sheep's skin. Why? They tell you one thing but do another. Isn't that the definition of hypocrite?"

hyp·o·crite [hip-uh-krit] (dictionary.com)
–noun
1.
a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

Wow omg! So true worhhhhzxzxz!

Like I fucking care.

Hate's a strong word, but I'm not sorry. I've said, it can't be described. Besides, hate is ONLY a word. What's wrong with that? I'm a human, I hate too, like all the others.

I just don't want to like you.

[sarcasm]
Thanks for telling me I'm late for 2 times this week already.
THANKS.
A LOT!
[/sarcasm]

Wazzi late? Maybe I am. But I don't care.

2007-09-10T14:47:00.000+08:00

All good things come to an end.

Therefore, don't wish that time would stop, nor wish that it would be extended.

But cherish each wonderful moment and take it into your embrace.

It's the fact that it would end which make it all the more cherishable.

Life's all about being contented, isn't it?

Oreo donut looks yummy. (: Haven't tried. Waiting to share it with my brother. Ehheh, shared joy is double joy!

Thanks Elaine! :D

2007-09-09T23:24:00.000+08:00

It's hard to find people who appreciates the night.
Gladly, I found a couple of them. :D

Have you ever felt you have had too much to take in your stride? Like everything's not going your way even though you've tried and slogged to make the changes? Then it's time to look into the night sky, the silent yet peaceful, feeling that you'll almost never find in a busy day.

On the same line, the night is the time of your day. Why would I say that? Don't you hate people poking their noses into whatever you're doing? Don't you hate people pestering you, hate them for distracting your thoughts, hate them for whatever they're doing that's annoying you?

Then worry not! For it's the night when these annoying people goes to sleep. Where your freedom truly prevails.

Ever needed the whole house to yourself (minus the bedrooms)? At night, go to the kitchen and whip some fiasco, clean up before dawn and no one would know! At night, put on your headsets and blast (try not to be too loud) the television/radio into your ear, eveyone would be in their tender sleeps. Ever needed to cry and vent, but you didn't want anyone to know? The night's your best friend, for a secret it will forever keep.

Time past too fast in the day? Don't worry. The night's slow enough for you. Need some natural music to drive away the unwanted sounds in your head? Listen to the nightly creatures for they sing a song of cadence, so peaceful you'll feel at ease.

Then again, only a few people live such lives. The lives of the nocturnals.

Take a change, sometimes. A change is always good. & the morning's can sometimes be too bright.

I've always loved the night.
It lets you see things clearer, more peacefully, and alas, where inspirations you will find.

-Back on track-

I hate school.
It's starting tomorrow and
I haven't got any much homework done.

Dullllllllllllllllll.

Oh. -.- Lit test.

BAGAHHZ.

2007-09-09T23:12:00.000+08:00

A heart is an instrument
Strings to pull, to twist, to bend
To make heavenly music, but I don’t
To my heart I do not tend

I’m tired of all the heart-break
Of taping the pieces back together
So I shall remain alone
My heart will be whole forever

But then you came along
And make me break my vow
My violin sings to your playing
You can’t leave me now

I don’t know if I’ll always love you
But what I can say is this
I can love you for now
Please give me a kiss

Didn't I already say it's ending this week?
Well, perhaps it has ended.

Credits.
http://spukhaft.deviantart.com/art/Violin-61219186
http://sab687.deviantart.com/art/Requiem-To-The-Night-43415746

2007-09-05T22:05:00.000+08:00

I'm happy today, are you?

Tried and failed.
My one last shot ends this week.
Take it or leave it.

2007-09-05T01:13:00.001+08:00

I can't not believe in horoscopes because they're damn right, and most of the time accurate.

Read this, and compare to my post before this.
Horoscope taken from Yahoo! (Sept 4)

Quickie:
This could be an emotional day, but it is not one in which you
won't have control.

Overview:
Your take on current events needs to
get out there, so start talking or writing -- and don't be shy about taking
unpopular stands! You might very well be surprised by how warm your reception
turns out to be.

Extended:

This could be an emotional day, but it is not one in which you won't be able to
control your emotions. So remember that when you feel your temper rising, your
heart bruising, or an inappropriate giggle bubbling up inside of you. You can
stop things from getting uncomfortable by simply taking a step back, letting
yourself breathe, and taking your pulse -- both literally and figuratively. Just
because you are feeling some confusing thoughts does not mean you should be
afraid of your emotions.

Exactly what I felt after typing that post.
So tell me, what do you call superstitions, if they're so damn accurate?

Got pretty restless so yeah, italiced the things I think are true for me.

How To Date an Aquarius Female

If you are dating an Aquarius female, arrive in your restored classic. Wear a funky hat and clothes that shouldn't go together, but somehow do. Take her to an out of the way coffee house, featuring jazz. Feel free to discuss anything and everything. She is an intelligent listener, and will have some bizarre insight of her own. You'll never truly understand her, so bring a tape recorder so you can sort it out later.

Aquarius women are unusual, not necessarily hippies, but aware of the entire globe. She won't be ready to jump in the sack on the first date, she has to get to know you. Be fascinating, tell her that you are going to Spain to run with the bulls. Explain your philosophy on combining chemicals to combat radiation. Tell her about your thesis which was published in the "International Who Dunnit Magazine". Don't tell her you are in love with her too soon. You will know when she has taken a strong liking to you. That is when your Aquarius female will invite you to her abode. Then you will see the real Aquarius female. There will be many unusual pictures and books. There is a story connected to all of her belongings. When your Aquarius female commits to you, she will not necessarily be ready for marriage. That is just her way of saying she likes you. You must have like minds, or there will be no future Mrs. Anybody.

How To Date an Aquarius Male

If you are dating an Aquarius male, consider yourself lucky to even get the first date. Aquarius males don't date much. They would rather be an observer, hanging out on the scene. He would prefer to go to your house and have long talks into the night, and possibly just stay over. He may tell you that he just video taped an erotica video featuring wild animals at the zoo with some vacationing starlets. He may stay at your house, never cook or clean, but just be there when you come home from work. Then one day, without warning, he will be gone.

If he is employed, he can be quite selfish with his money. He likes his freedom, in every way. Eventually he will call you, but expect the unexpected with Aquarius. When Aquarius males fall in love, it is usually with someone who is intellectual, self-sufficient, and childless. Have a deep purpose or goal in life and he will be attracted to your dreams.

Aquarius males will marry, but they usually marry the wrong person the first time, and shy away from second marriages. They love their mental freedom. Nagging won't change them. He won't care what race you are, how much you weigh, etc. Mind altering drugs can ruin an Aquarian male for marriage completely. If he is more holistic, then he is searching for a soul mate. Love yourself and your Aquarius male will too.

I know it's a male but still, I feel that some part still applies. =x

http://www.quizbox.com/horoscopes/aquarius/aquarius1.aspx

2007-09-05T00:22:00.000+08:00

Just watched 200 Pounds Beauty.

Spent like 3 or 4 (online) days downloading it using torrent [did I mention it was worth the time?], thus my unstable connection but don't worry people, it's back and working perfectly fine *ahem* right now.

Back to topic, the movie is touching and I don't know how to explain but it's a must watch. (Okay, bit late huh.) One fantastic movie there.

Typed a horrenfically (Is there such a word? Oh heck.) emotional post but decided that I won't post it. I hate explaining stuffs but there's still a part I wanna post.

I AM, BUT A HUMAN. But I'm not treated like one.
I AM, BUT SOMEONE WITH A HEART-THAT FEELS. But no one feels for me.
I AM, BUT A PERSON WHO NEEDS TIME OF MY OWN. But I'm giving my time to others.
I AM, BUT A GIRL, WHO NEEDS TO VENT HER WHATEVER AND BITCH ABOUT HER WHATEVER. But I can't.
I AM, BUT A NORMAL BEING THAT NEEDS RESPECT. But I'm not given.
I AM, BUT A LIVING THING THAT NEEDS PRIVACY. But I'm denied.
I AM, BUT A FRIEND. But I feel lonely.

Yes, call me selfish.
Yes, call me emo.
Yes, call me this.
Yes, call me that.
CALL ME WHATEVER, WHY DO I HAVE TO CARE?
No one else is caring for me, either.

What is there to life that I'm living for, that I have my purpose to do before I depart from this world? To let myself be a living bowl that helps all those "in need" to keep their tears? Am I not one who also needs a shoulder to lean on? What am I, GOD? Can't I cry and be a bitch for once and let everyone else take lead in my life? Can't I just jump from the building and land on the ground and let myself die? WHY CAN'T I? Why don't I have the courage to end everything that's uneven for me?

And wtf, I don't even have the courage to tell anybody, somebody how I'm feeling right now.

My blog's my only escape.
Life's unfair, sadly, it's true.

2007-09-03T22:14:00.000+08:00

You told me to go for it but, can't you see?
I can't cos you're right in front of me already.

Superficial.

Everything.

You, especially.

Can't I tell it's time I gave up?
Can't.

Why?
I tried.

But everytime it hurts so badly.
Everytime I wanna go back.
Everytime I wished I never tried.
Everytime I wished I never met you.

2007-08-31T16:14:00.000+08:00

LOL. This is freaking funny I can laugh my wholllleee life.

I remembered my brother saying he'll be back at 4. So after school, I went to sleep after a while on msn. Woke up like 10 mins ago (from this time), and I heard the door clicking. So, with my brother's reaction in mind, I ran to the front door and prepare. When the door swung open, I jumped and shouted "BOOO!" then you can't guess what happened.

...............................

My dad was shocked and he said in a louder than usual voice, "You siao ah?" LOL. In the instant I defended myself by saying "I thought you ah hao(my brother) what! He tell me 4 come home. Where you go?" Then my dad gave me this face -.-. Lol.

That was damn stupid I swear. Would've laughed everyone's teeth out if it were caught on tape. I can't even stop laughing myself after the incident-a bit calmer now-. Never expected my dad to be there, instead of my brother. :/

Made a fool out of myself.

Right, and Teachers' Day Celebration has been pretty raw today. Never went back Primary school, and thought that maybe I should. But oh well... Should've gotten over it by now.

Everything else as well. Time to move on.

Okay, as I ended this post my bro came home and rang the doorbell.

Recounted everything as fresh as it was and he went, "Nevermind la, I also. Sometimes I thought you come home I keep calling you but never see the door then is papa when he come out of the kitchen."

I guess we siblings are alike, in most of our ways. HAHAHAHA.

But mine is, way more retard than his. -.-

Never again will I believe you ain't lying anymore.

Handsome handsome handsome handsome!

2007-08-30T18:47:00.000+08:00

Photos.

Heart made using bluetack.

Stella did it!
Our SLF board.
The bear that was made using bluetack.

Stella made it again!
Cute right? xD
Snail, another masterpiece of Stella's.

2007-08-30T18:40:00.001+08:00

Balloons are beautiful when you hold them, but even more when you let it fly into the sky.

Balloons from deviantart.

http://ohchrist-en.deviantart.com/art/balloons-48739445

http://gathion.deviantart.com/art/Fly-Away-Blue-Balloon-54259171

http://hitsugi.deviantart.com/art/freedom-60589910

SLF-cum-IT COE celebration

History department. Slack. :P

Stella made me a bear using bluetack. How cool is that? :D

Pictures next post! Ehehehehe.

Styled hair, long lashes, dreamy eyes, sharp chin, charming face, sharp nose, sweet smile and a tanned, gentleman. In my dreams.

2007-08-29T23:37:00.001+08:00

You don't have to act as if I didn't know anything.

2007-08-29T18:14:00.000+08:00

Everytime I think of you I just fall even harder.

I like to blog different lines that piece together to form puzzle. I like to blog things messily that actually forms a circle. I like people to guess what I'm trying to say. :D I like to blog things with hidden meanings behind, I like to blog things with a tinge of dark messages. I just like it.

Now, tell me. What can you infer/see from what I'm trying to tell you in the above paragraph? Bet you can't! :D But there is a message behind it.

Sometimes I get pretty amazed at things I can write. I like writing, too. xD Although sometimes it's too abstract, I think.

Out of point.

Anyway.

I realised.

The world is colourful, and so are you.

Hehehehe, guess the hidden message again!

-

I can't resist no one but you

You told me never to fall in love with you
But I never heeded your advice
You asked me whether I ever loved you
And all along I told you my only lie

This is my darkest secret
My one and only biggest treasure
This is where all my love keeps
Deep down to my heart's pleasure

How could I ever have thought of falling in love
If it wasn't for you who taught me how
How could I ever have known what lives in my heart
If it wasn't for you who unlocked its meaning

What happens when you accidentally, unintentionally, fall in love with someone you should never?

2007-08-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

I appreciate that you'll stay awake into the depths of the night even though you're tired and sleepy, just to keep me entertained and being there for me.

Ahah, thank you! :D

Most of them, what they say, are only words, never actions. I admit I do that too. But I feel that you're different. :D

You're the one that I want! - Grease Soundtrack.

2007-08-28T20:44:00.000+08:00

Blood Moon Eclipse.

I missed that one in probably a hundred lifetimes of a chance to watch it. Awww, it would be like, SO COOL! Red moon, how often do you see one? A green one would be nice too. =x

So now it's no longer once in a blue moon, it's once in a/an (any colour) moon. Lol.

Woooo, I feel like watching a meteor shower! :D

They say when you catch a falling star, make a wish and it'll come true. So if I catch many falling stars, does that mean all my many wishes will come true? =X Hahahaha.

Will you get caught in the meteor rain with me?

2007-08-27T01:28:00.001+08:00

I had 177 posts! (This made it 178).

Well, anyway, had a lot of things to say right now. =x Hahaha. Yeah....

First things first! Bought my new phone today. Samsung L760. Well, not my dream phone Sony Ericsson W6610i but still, better than nothing! (It was hard to come by that my dad initiated the buy.) The phone's pretty hard to manoeuver cos I'm used to my Nokia after so many years, and yeah, my heart kindda starting to miss my old phone already! So anyway, will be getting a new number and if I hadn't inform you, ask me! :D Probably take me sometime to get used to Samsung. And wow, it has so many "new" functions that I can't really adapt using it yet. xD Okay, my old phone is pretty ancient. I find Bluetooth intriguing. Okay, forgive me. I'm a handphone nut, for phoneness sake. =x Yayyyy anyone wanna try out bluetooth with me? *impatient* Cam's 2.0 mp, but I find it blur.... :/ Okay la, clearer than my older 0.8. =.=

Summarise my day. Then I'll elaborate!

Home } Lunch at Ikea, shop awhile } Courts } TM, where I bought my phone } Subway } Concert } Home sweet home

Subway. I couldn't have made a fool of myself any more than that, really! I WAS SO COUNTRY PUMPKIN THAT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH! Not that I can't understand English, but that I have no idea what the counter is trying to tell me. Ah, Alistair took a hard time trying to clear the confusion but okay, I was stupid at the moment of time, don't ask me why, I don't have the slightest idea. I was like, "Huh?" all the way when the counter talked to me. I THINK HE THOUGHT I WAS SOME FOREIGNER WHO HAVE NOT EATEN AT SUBWAY. -.- Okay. It's true to a certain extent. It was my first visit to Subway okay! So I really had no idea what the counter is trying to tell me, don't laugh! (You would if you seen how blur I was at that time.) Then, the counter asked me what vegetables I do not want. Guess what was my answer? I said, "Err, I only want that one. *points to cabbages*." Then Alistair told me that the counter asked me what I do NOT want, but I answered what I wanted. -.- But okay, I only wanted cabbage what! The other vege so..... :/

And another secret, don't laugh for goodness sake. I only heard of the fastfood Subway this year. REALLY! & Alistair said he "chi Subway zhang da de". Okay. I feel so foreigner. :S It's good enough that I had my first try today okay! Next time wouldn't be as dumb. =X

Then Trevor came, and I couldn't finish my footlong sandwich, so I took it away. LOL. Wrapped and put in my big, beautiful, Singtel-advertising bag. Had no other bag and I have like, so many things can! =x So convenient. Then we walked to Esplanade. On the way up the stairs, the bell rang each step we took, damn hilarious. It actually signalled that the concert is starting.

So we went in, and Trevor had to make a big turn to get to his seat, lol. Turns out the seat next to Stella was unoccupied. =x Concert was okay, no musical though. Mr Yong voice was superb, I feel as if I only can hear his. Lol. And his voice covered porcupine's. (Only Stella would understand.) xD

Went home and on the way back, talked to Elaine on the phone. Really dragged the loneliness feeling out of me. It sucks not to have a boyfriend to escort you home on a late night. HAHAHA, but a laopo would be fine too. :D (Eh, I'm not implying I want to have one, just trying to say it would be nice for that kind of stuff. =X)

When I was about to board the bus, my phone's battery turn its back on me, ARGH. How many times already!?!?!? So I stopped the conversation with Elaine and on the bus, my phone slipped between my fingers and JUMPED (literally) on the bus' floor. Argh, I could hear my heart breaking. (Not literally but you get the meaning.) I had that re-feeling of dropping my phone for the first time when I just bought it few years ago. Probably because this is the time I know I'm dropping it for the last time? I'm gonna be gentler on my new phone, promise!

& before this blog post turn into a naggy long essay, GOOD NIGHT!

Sometimes I wish, I was smarter, I knew more, I don't act retard, and I'm not weird.
Sometimes, I find myself unique and funny, other times, I find myself, me.

Heh, maybe being weird is being me? I don't know, but that retardness, I feel confortable with it. (:

You know, you don't have to live by the world to live your life, you can always live by yourself, because your life is your world. (Directed to one person, and I know you know who you are. :D Anyway, ask me if you don't understand. (: )

2007-08-25T02:13:00.000+08:00

I'm not supposed to love you
I'm not supposed to care
I'm not supposed to live my life
Wishing you were there
I'm not supposed to wonder
Where you are or what you do
I'm sorry I can't help myself
Cause I'm in love with you!

Origin unknown. =x Found it in blogskins.
http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=55005&action=Preview

2007-08-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

What is the purpose of life?

Of mine, and of yours?

What's the purpose of our lives?

Have you ever not wondered about it?

Do we have to believe in God for Him to be real? Do we?

I don't know, it's full of holes, here and there.

I see through, but not the whole.

Why is life such a mystery?

Why can't life be led simply?

What comes after death? Our next life time?

Why do we have life times, can't we live just this once?

Karma, how does it work? Does life have a system that keeps records?

Mistakes. Does one mistake deem you your life?

Perfection, why isn't it real?

Love, is it a feeling, or has it all along been part of media influence?

Is this life?

Is this how I should lead my life?

Why nothing seems to be right, I can't seem to lead my life the way I want to.

If God is real, why He only appears to people who believe in Him?

What's faith, what's entanglement, what's commitment, what's bonds and ties?

Everyone screw up life, more than once.

I believe, this is the time I screwed up mine for the first.

Seriously.

Bad enough, I hope all goes well.

I. Must. Buck. Up. Now.

If only you were here to hold me in your arms, make me your little girl, tell me all this will pass, as we lay above the grass, watching the stars go by, with you by my side, and the pieces of the world falling into place. Maybe.

2007-08-23T17:27:00.000+08:00

Update.

Mdm Muneira said my compo was deducted 2 marks because I still make simple grammatical errors that isn't perfect enough to score a high A1 (25/30). Therefore she still gave me my A1 (23/30) but it would be a low one.

-.-

Gehshit. =(

Simple grammatical errors = deduct lesser marks isn't it?
Not as if it's some FATAL grammatical error. -.-

Plus, my grammatical errors is already accounted for in the marks of the previous teacher, why she minus again!? Want minus, minus everyone ones la!

I bet you she's jealous.

:O

2007-08-21T18:13:00.001+08:00

Just my daily rant. Nah don't go on if you can't take it, really.

Main highlight of the day... My english compo.

I feeeeeeeel so angered, you probably wouldn't have seen that side of me. I feel like cracking my knucles and punch the air, and maybe jump until my legs go numb. Seriously, it's like once in a red moon that my compo scored like 25/30! And when Muneira was returning our papers today she handed my paper to me, checked the marks, took the paper back, deduct 2 marks without reading my compo, and told the v.chairman,"Cancel, change to 23." WTFuck. Did she even read my compo? What makes her think my compo deserves a 23 when my previous teacher gave it a 25? She has no faith in her? Or is she jealous that she has never scored such marks and wishes me the same? Yes, I don't deny the previous teacher marked too leniently. But that's fucking unfair to me. Everyone is marked at the previous standard, while mine is being marked at Muneira's, when she didn't even read my compo? Okay, if you're telling me she read, then she MUST go to Guiness World Record. She MUST join the Fastest Reader On Earth category. Because she merely flipped it in 2 seconds, from the front to the back. If she can read all that, I tell you she's god. But no, she isn't god. IS SHE? No. She isn't. So I hereby conclude that Muneira is OH SO IMPARTIAL WORHXZXZX! (Sense the sarcasm? You better!)

I want my 2 marks. It may only be 2, but 25 and 23 is a lot of difference, you see. 25 is like the topmost layer of scoring A1 for composition, shouldn't she reward me for my "fabulous piece of work"? (quoted from my comments). Dumbshit. She's plain jealous I swear. PROVE ME NOT.

Oh P.S: I failed my emaths. 13/30. Boo. :/ Knew it.

2007-08-20T21:28:00.000+08:00

Don't give me a chance to love you,

Got back Chem paper today. HAHAHAHA. I got 10/40. (:
Sucky enough, yet good enough for a section B that has 95% blanks!
Blah, I got 4/10 for my MCQ when I did 45mins on it.
Geh, maybe I should've skimmed through. -.-

But anyway, today has been rather, short.

VL lesson was in the hall, having some talk on Cornell's note taking. Don't really get it but we'll be trying it out next week. Lit test was kindda crappy. Question 2 was so scribbled and indirect! Chinese lesson sucked, didn't listen. =x Assembly was worst. Some talk on teacher's day and grooming check.

Grooming check is becoming like a routine. WHAT. As if there's any use at all. After walking out of the hall everytime resumes to before the grooming check. & leimee asked me to cut my nails when my nails are short enough that my violin teacher didn't complain! RAAWR. Sometimes I don't like her. -.-

Ok, I'm sounding a little agitated, and this post is becoming like some boring speech that is probably boring you to death!

Anyway, amaths retest today. HAR! Don't have confidence, since when I had any? Ever since HHDSG left............ Well, I just hope I don't need a re-retest! Bless me.

& the key-n-lock charms I bought, I think they've been misplaced by the post office. GRRRRR. Don't they get their salary? So anyway, the seller agrees to send me another set! AHAH! *relieved* Now I'm starting to see some hope in the human society out there...

Well, if you ask me, I believe that all human have an innate of good nature, but growing up makes them take a step on the evil path. But haha, this proves that NOT all humans are tempted by evil. :D Bless those goodie beanies. :D

Hope hope hope hope hope.

Ahhhhh, talking about reliving hope another part of me is losing hope (another kind, look below).

EL - B4
HCL - C6
EM - E8
AM - E8
PB - B3
PC - D7
PHIST - C6
SS/ELIT - B3

Confirmed in bold. Not confirmed in italics. Failed, regardless of confirmed or not, in red.

& oh, I'm thinking of taking up Psychology.
HEY NICOLE DO YOU SEE THIS? (:

Let go of me, please.

2007-08-18T01:57:00.000+08:00

I can forget my homework.
I can forget the maths formulas.
I can forget the science chapters.
I can forget my textbook.
I can forget this.
I can forget that.
But.

Can I forget the world?
Can I forget the time left?
Can I forget the past?
Can I forget the lies?
Can I forget the injustice?
Can I forget the loss?
Can I forget the loneliness?
Can I forget the friendship?
Can I forget the people?
Can I forget myself?
Can I forget you?
Can I forget the existance?
Can I forget how to breathe?
Can I forget how to walk?
Can I forget that I ever lived?

Can I?

Some people probably can. For they never knew how, never had, never loved, never tried, never failed, never succeeded, never felt.

Is that, what you're proving to me?

2007-08-17T20:37:00.000+08:00

If you are in love with an Aquarius, give him or her a very long leash and your respect. This is one of the most freedom-oriented of all the signs and this individual will not tolerate nagging or any cramping of his(her) style. You must understand that here you have found a person who truly looks at the world from a different perspective and needs to be supported in this endeavor. Bright and original, this partner sees the world as it will be or should be and feels somewhat personally responsible to bring the future about. Some Aquarians feel so strongly about this that they are almost revolutionary in thought and behavior.

Aquarius, as a rule, is also much more comfortable in the realm of thought than that of emotion. This person actually has the ability to detach from his(her) body and view conversations and situations from above. You needn't worry about judgment, though, as he(she) is extremely tolerant of everything except intolerance. Friends are important to this individual and you can expect a steady stream either through your house or his(her) business.

You have found here, too, a partner that truly seeks an equal relationship. He or she wants to stand on his(her) own and wants you to do the same. This is the eleventh sign of the zodiac and if you look at the number 11, it represents masculine and feminine -- separate -- but also side by side and equal. As we are currently proceeding into the great "Age of Aquarius," this is good news for us all.

Flexibility is also a must with this mate as he(she) enjoys last-minute and/or unexpected surprises. "Boring" will not be a word you use to describe this relationship as he(she) keeps you wondering what's going to happen next. If you are looking for a partner with whom to have a fair and interesting match, you have found it here.

http://www.innerself.com/Astrology/horoscope/aquarius.htm

2007-08-17T20:28:00.000+08:00

Aquarius (January 20 - February 19)

The Water Bearer. Idealistic. Independent. Humanitarian. Philosophical. Patient. Unconventional. Ruling Planet: Uranus. Fixed Air Sign. Key Phrase: "I Know." Colors: Electric Blue, Psychadelic. Flower: Lilacs, Orchids. Metal: Aluminum. Rules: Legs, knees & ankles. Gems: Amazonite, Turquoise. Carrying the spiritual light of Capricorn into actuality. "For spirit must be made to matter." The resolve to implement our clearest vision. The will to do it. Impersonal, willing to work with anyone and any vehicle, thus, group or team work. Aspiring, unconventional, humane associations.

http://www.goddessflight.com/astrology/zodiac_signs.php

2007-08-17T14:48:00.001+08:00

The goat is a gentle person, caring and compassionate. They are quiet when hurt, are strongly family oriented and being born under the sign of art, love beautiful things. The goat is the most feminine of the twelve animal signs. Goats are thought by the Chinese to be harbingers of peace. Goats are pacifist by nature, only becoming militant in order to restore harmony, and are quick to react against conflict to bring peace. Goats love the good life, and their dislike for aggression and love for peace stems more from their love of fine things and the realisation that to enjoy these things, peace is required.

As aesthetic people, goats love to make a show of things. They make ideal performers, and are seldom bashful in front of a crowd - indeed, goats thrive when all eyes are turned on them. They have a strong tendency to roam, and for this reason need guidance, or in extreme cases, tethering!

The Goat sign is sometimes known as the 'ram'.

2007-08-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

Everyone and anyone is cordially invited to do this test! xD
Some questions are tricky, some are lame, some are personal.

Haha, how well do you know me? :D

*with forceful eyes* These people are forced (with no other conditions) to do this test. =X

1. STELLA
2. MONGYIE
3. VIVIEN
4. CHUIYING

These 4 people are blacklisted until they complete the test. LOL. xD

HAHAHAHAHA! Kidding. :P

PS. Sorrrrrry Elaine. =X

2007-08-13T15:08:00.001+08:00

Common test week.

I screwed my chemistry.
Seriously, if I could've gotten a 10/40 I'm grateful enough!
Spent 40 minutes on my MCQ.
Geezers.

Well, at least I got an excuse.
Hadn't been in the best of moods since yesterday.

Gah-guh.

Amaths tomorrow huh! How high can my hopes be, I never passed a single Amaths test before. -.- Higher chinese. LOL. Goodness gracious.

I'm so screwed.

I don't eat your hard means. Go hard on me and I'll only be harder on you.

2007-08-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

It's past time I should've let you go
Should've done it long time ago
But I can't because deep in me
I know I'll be here to stay

Each time I feel like we're surrounded in a clock
Each moment jealousy ticks I feel like a dork
When time passes by I'm back by the hand
To only find that jealousy stikes all over again

Everytime I told myself I won't love you no more
By just reminding myself I'm onto you even more
After each time I look away I find myself
Looking straight into your eyes loving you again

Every time I walked passed that pillar
Where you took my first kiss away from me
I stare at it much in vain
Hoping you'll pop out of thin air and relive the scene

Every time the light on my phone reflects the light above
I turn to see
Hoping it was your message or your call I've been waiting
But to my disappointment I was merely hallucinating

Some days you'll come over
Acting all warmth and need a cover
Other days you'll walk away
Saying you need time Maybe another day

With soft words you tell me No you won't go away
Then you didn't know our distance apart
Actually is more than what you and I imagined
With words unspoken you broke the glance

Had I known we'll be this hurt would I still love you
Had you known we'll end up this way would you even start
Had I known we shouldn't be together
Had you known so much maybe we shouldn't bother

But this is not the time
Not the time to cry to wail to pass by
Someday I know we'll meet again
Someday perhaps when we find ourselves again

But No still I'm not letting you go
I'll wait I'll stay I'll be right by your side
Whenever you need me
To let you know, all along
I loved you nonetheless, only more

Kindda inspired, -shucks-. Realised a long time ever since I touched a poem, and yeah a long one after so long.

2007-08-09T20:54:00.001+08:00

Happy National Day!

&

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIHUI! :D

I'm reading Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows.

Will be finishing the book before preparing for the common tests. :P

Well, goodnight there! (:

2007-08-08T17:43:00.000+08:00

Common test next week already, drats.

Skipped NASS' National Day celebration.
Went to WSPS'. :P

Danced in the foyer, at the end I was kindda blur but glad it is all over now! Yay!

Beautiful day. :D

Went WS to shop, then to TM&CS, then to EP. Lol.

Shihtzu is so cute! OMGOMG! I wanna get one but I'm lazy. =x
When I'm older maybe. xD

Oh hoho!

Happy Birthday Singapore! (eve)

2007-08-03T20:27:00.000+08:00

I had a dream, and my dream came true.
It felt like deja vu, can't really recall.

I'm dreading for time to stop, there's so much to do, so little time to accomplish. Maybe it's just me wasting my time here blogging. :/ I don't wanna think about Monday. Sucks.

Why detention? :( Shuckkkks. My bitter medicine.

To think I'm actually serving detention for late coming. -.- Better late than never right! =x

4 test just passed, not exactly heaving a big sigh of relief! Next week's only tougher, and common tests are up the next next! Argh. I owe like, one month of tuition attendance. x.x

I still don't know why I'm always the one getting the thumbs down, it's not like I am inferior in any way. Not like I am not as human as everyone else is. Not like I'm not a homo sapien.

Maybe it's just me. It's always "just me", isn't it?

I don't know why the world is in colour when all I am granted is but black and white.
I don't know why people have such strong, intense, inner dark feeling that pollutes the world.
I don't know why people can don't face up to their own conscience.
I don't know why people say they are in love then the next moment they quarrel.
I don't know why there is such a thing called "time", it's not like we can grab hold of it.
I don't know what's responsibility, no one seems to show it.
I don't know what's life, when we all do eventually die.
I don't know why I'm here, occupying this bit of space, when I feel my existence was never here.

"Never Gone" - Backstreet Boys

The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you

Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never separate us
Deep inside I know you are

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (yeah)
Never gone

No no no
I walk alone these empty streets
There is not a second you're not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you've shown
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone

(Somehow)
Somehow you found a way
To see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close)
Everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life yeah)

Never gone from me
If there's one thing I believe (I believe)
I will see you somewhere down the road again

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close (always close)
Everyday (everyday)
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye (yeah yeah)
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life)

Never gone, never far
In my heart (in my heart is where) is where you are (you are)
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are

2007-07-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

Finished watching One Litre of Tears. Worth the watch! Nearly cried my heart out. And the guy is so nice and good looking la! =x He was always there when the girl needed her.

Anyway, lit fest today was not exciting. There were so much opportunities to sleep. :/ I'm like draining my energy to keep my eyes open instead of actually draining my energy to listen to the poems and debates. I don't think their poems are that good anyway. =x But.. I guess different people have different styles of expressing.

Then came back from violin and saw Maylyn, then I waved to her and she screamed at me!

4 test coming up next week.
Woww, killer.

And to add on to the killer list the CAs are coming up, and gosh.

But on a lighter note, today's saturday so I'm gonna spend today doing some slack stuffs and get to ~~work~~study tomorrow. xD

Geeez, I hate test and examinations.

I'm watching Ouran High School Host Club. Hahahaha. So bored and that anime feel is coming back to me again after watching Prince of Tennis on Kids Central. The english voice dubs seriously doesn't suit each character though. Shucks. Oishi sounded like some pessimist when in the anime he's suppose to be the optimistic and forward looking guy!

Still, original stuffs are still of better quality, eh?

2007-07-23T19:50:00.001+08:00

The aeroplane disappeared between the clouds like how you disappeared among the crowd.
When will the sun shine and cast its rays upon us?

2007-07-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

Racial Harmony.

*yawnnnns*

2007-07-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

I'm getting married in 10 years time. :D
Yes, this very day 10 years later.
Yet, no one believes. -.-
Except a few who are as lame as me.

But I am serious!!!!

Bridegroom to be confirmed. LOL.

Yes Elaine, whether you like it or not I'm preparing you a special seat with a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY sign on it cos it's your birthday too. =x

:D :D :D

I can tell that Chuiying will be attending my wedding dinner (right?) because she has been helping me going around announcing my wedding.

HAHAHHAAHHA
this is all too funny.

2007-07-17T21:02:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELAINE! :D

Haha, archery was fun. If only we had aircon and more chances to tryout. But ohwell, we only did pay $5. =x

Hahaha. Emaths test tmr.
Chem test on thurs.
Gayyyshit.

Friday's racial harmony but there's lit remedial. :(

2007-07-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging for close to a week, well, here I am. :D

I'm starting to love my PSP cos I can't get my hands off Harvest Moon, which also explains the lack of posts, sleep, and activities from me. Lol.

Anyway, spent the whole day thinking that I'm having emaths test tomorrow until just not long ago I found out it was on Tues. Went out for dinner with bro, dad, cousins, uncle, aunts and grandma. :D At Macpherson. Dinner was great, but somehow it didn't really made me feel full, and thinking about that.. I'm feeling hungry.

On the way back my uncle told me something about Sunday' newspaper. In the Life section, about a nurse and a boy. Didn't really catch what the story was about but he said it was touching. Then he told me something that I strongly believe in.

"The only way to maintain harmony is when you place others before self. Problems exist only in self-centered minds."

When you think of others and how they feel before setting upon an action, you make sure you don't in the very least hurt them unless unintentionally. When we are self-centered, however, we will feel that others are not giving enough to us, and that we are not deserving what we should be, and that the whole world revolves around "me", that's when we create troubles. When you feel vexed because you can't get contented, you feel frustrated because others are hurt and disappointed, yet you feel you have done no wrong because you think it is right.

Do you see now? Do you see the words in bold?

I didn't quite understand it at first, but I'm slowly realising now. I was too selfish in the past. Yeah... Maybe. I don't know. How about you?

Sometimes all we only need is a you in my heart.

2007-07-10T23:34:00.000+08:00

You were once the angel guarding over me,
now you have fled so tell me what am I supposed to do without you.

I search, I seek, I find, I pursue. That doesn't equate to success yet, mind you.

I feel lost.

-

Apart from above, GCE 'O' Level Express Chinese Oral Examination begins tomorrow. *gasp* I'm so afraid and I can't find resilience. I'm taking off my precious time of doing homework to blog because I don't feel like starting on them and look at the time! Argh. My head feels heavy already.

Feeling so hectic these few weeks, and this hectic-ness will end in about a month's time. Which means I have to endure 4 more weeks of fully-booked schedule week. Monday is usually the most free day of the week. But Tuesday is a horror when homework are due so Monday would be used to do homework (or not). Tuesday ends at 3pm on odd weeks and I have choir so I go home late, and tired, and thirsty, and throaty. Wednesday ends at 3pm as well but there's dance practice. Thursday ends at 1pm and 2pm on odd and even weeks respectively, but I have dance practice on Thursday too. Which now leaves Friday (because Saturday and Sunday are for sleeping despite having choir and violin on Saturday) when we end at 1.30pm on odd weeks and 12.30pm on even weeks. But Friday is usually the maths tuition day. Otherwise it's PSP day. =x

Wow, so that leaves me with almost no time to rest! But it'll be over soon. :D Hopefully. I still owe Mr Cho one maths lesson, which I intend to attend before Emaths test cos I totally screw maths.

Alright, long nag. -.-

-

Now I know where I stand, I have to set my priorities.
At least I know, daydream lives on. (:

2007-07-09T00:19:00.000+08:00

It's not easy to love you
because you'll never know I do.

Haven't done my chemistry worksheet with no utter intention to do it. Chinese holiday assignment is like 40% done, including the typing, printing, decorating.... Well this is what I call, a leopard never changes its spots. =x

Anyway! Had pasta for dinner over at my aunt's house. Awwww and I'm craving for pasta right now! I love western food, for life! Burgers, fries, pastas, pizzas, spaghetti... But I don't like bread, they taste so dry.

Who knows, I might open an italian eatery one day selling western food, wahahaha. :D I did have thoughts of that.

*hungry with thoughts filled aroma*

I am as lost, as the bird with broken wings.
I wished my life was like before. Everyone was happier, everyone was carefree. There were less worries, there were less troubles. Maybe as the world progresses into a new phase of era, we all lose our history. We lose our traditions, we lose our pasts. What left remain is our memory, which will die with us to come. Perhaps this is life. It's not mine. It's the world's.

Why are we fretting over the smallest things,
why are we losing ourselves over the silliest things?

2007-07-08T00:17:00.000+08:00

Christmas Time Is Here - Chipz

The snow is deep outside
I'm one here with you
By the fireplace
This gift I give you
Some people are so far apart
This special time of year
The luckey ones are you and I
'Cause Christmas time is here

I wish they know our dreams came true
I wait till find the Wonderland
I've waited almost all the year
To have you near
Now Christmas time is here
I wish for all the stars to shine
To have to send an angel of mine
Now magical my prayers were answered
Now it's clear
That Christmas time is here

Friends are all around
Let's take a sleigh ride
Gifts under the tree
The stars are so bright
Some people are so far apart
This special time of year
The luckey ones are you and I
'Cause Christmas time is here

I wish they know our dreams came true
I wait till find the Wonderland
I've waited almost all the year
To have you near
Now Christmas time is here
I wish for all the stars to shine
To have to send an angel of mine
Now magical my prayers were answered
Now it's clear
That Christmas time is here

All I want is what I see
Us together for eternity
It's such a special time of year
Now Christmas time is here

I wish they know our dreams came true
I wait till find the Wonderland
I've waited almost all the year
To have you near
Now Christmas time is here
I wish for all the stars to shine
To have to send an angel of mine
Now magical my prayers were answered
Now it's clear
That Christmas time is here

That Christmas time is here

Sleepy. Beautiful song, but I can't find it. :/

2007-07-05T00:03:00.000+08:00

NICOLE DO YOU SEE THIS DO YOU?

I've blogged.

2007-06-30T23:47:00.000+08:00

Choir.

Cried for 5 hours outside my house. Ask me if you wanna know cos I don't feel like typing the whole story out.

I swear I'm gonna carry my keys wherever I go.

Puffy red eyes. Skipped violin because of that too. (not the eyes, the incident)

First time crying this badly, much this year, or maybe my past years too.

Then I felt the pain of being built up on sorrows while others indulge in their happiness caused upon my sorrow.

The feeling was terrible that I actually have thoughts of jumping down the building and die, but it's only three floors which would probably end me up with some scars and broken bones only.

Shhhhez.

Worst day in my life.

The feeling of being abandoned rather than forgotten.
The feeling of being left alone rather than being left out.

Later part of the day really brought some light.

My brother cried when he saw that I cried and I asked him why, he said because he didn't wanna see me cry so he cried. (So sweeet can!) I reallly love my brother a lotttt. Unlike my parents that only scolded me. Was it my fault? If you say it is then what else can I say?

I was stupid, anyway.

Went NDP rehearsal at Marinabay. Overall performance was nice but not much any different compared to the other years. Main difference was that this time it was pretty emphasized on being above the water, and the navy which seemed to have lacked out in the previous years of NDP.

Fireworks was a total disappointment. How many seconds did it last? Second I'll say. One second probably. It was shot into the sky, lighted (without much branching out) and disappeared.

Vanished just like that, like our love.

I expected more. Something much more interesting until the emcee told us it's the end of the performance. GAHHHH.

Well anyway had a fun time. Took away my memory of the afternoon.

But still tears flow when I was on the bus back home. And it's overcrowding in my eyes already.

And it will probably haunt me in the years to come....

Tired.

2007-06-30T00:19:00.000+08:00

Things and events are surfacing too quickly, but I'm evaporating them as quickly. My memory has been failing these days.

Choir tomorrow 9am. I wanna sleeeeep it's Saturday!

Yesterday had been a long long day. Actually, not really. Higher chinese after school was crap. But Stella and I left in a hurry and we went to Outram Park. Walked in like 2 or 3 minutes until we reached Pearl's Centre. Ate Burgerking. Then went lan and play. Hahha. I never played much. Mostly talking to Stella, eating, and watching her playing puzzle. I feel so sleepy.

And I haven't finished chinese assignment. Boooyeh.

I don't know what's wrong with my left hand ring finger, it keeps hurting so badly. :( I don't know what's wrong with my right hand little finger, the skin keeps tearing by itself. :( I don't know what's wrong with my legs, the bloody sandflies bites loves them so much. :(( I don't know what's wrong with me, having so much this and that everywhere.

Wooo, and Stella and I will be choreographing for WSPS alumni dance! Though I totally have no experience in choreography and I can't dance. :( But I'll learn!!! :D

When you learn to smile, even after falling down, that's when you have learned picked yourself up. I still cry thinking about the past, I think I'm still scattered in pieces.

The rain keeps coming, don't stop.

I realised I love you.
Pineapple loves Strawberry.
:D <3

2007-06-27T23:26:00.000+08:00

Helllllllo. Okay, I may be going over to China in Dec. MAYBE only. My mum didn't wanna go overseas during the past holiday was because I failed my Amaths, and badly still. Then she said that if I pass Amaths I can get to go to China with my aunt, uncle and cousins who will be going over to celebrate the new year. I'm so depending on Mdm Azean and the tuition. :/

So yes, I told my mum I found tuition and she was kindda happy to know that at least I'm going for tuition.

x_X and hey it's like only 11.29 pm now. I feel lethargic already. Oh yeahhh, I'm feeling like this since the start of the term. My body is trying to protest. I can hear her saying "I DON'T WANNA STUDY & I WANNA SLEEP LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS!"

But that's not going to happen, but only probably on Sunday. I hate it, seriously, when it's a five-day-week that the MOE claimed, but yet we have to come back on Saturday for CCA. It's just tiring.

Today was a beautiful day until whatever came and pissed me off.

Yes, I'm making my blog private and only open to invited. Sorry for the inconvenience of having to log in to blogger to read but I'm really......

I don't know what this feeling is. That kind that vulgar sprouts like a fountain. You know..? Pissed?

And I'm doing Amaths now, but I can't solve 2 questions. Shit, I don't have the knack for maths, seriously. Talk about numbers.... argh.

2007-06-27T01:01:00.000+08:00

Homework:

1. Amaths worksheet (all that I remembered)

Brother's birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday brotherrrr! Had pizzahut for dinner. Was my idea instead of my brother's though..

I'm tired. *yawn*

Don't exactly remember what happened today (or rather, yesterday)..

2007-06-26T01:46:00.000+08:00

Update! Finished my bio mindmaps.

Holiday homework left:
1. Pure History
2. Chemistry paper
3. HChinese...

Pull the trigger, shoot me down, right now.

HChinese seems to be so cramped up in my life. -.-I have a lorry+truck+ship+plane load of work to do. Yes, that's how much there is for me.

A pass and a fail only lines between a mark.

2007-06-25T14:56:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm pretty stuffed up for many homework that is due either today, tomorrow, the day after...... Whatever, it's by the end of this week.

And definitely it's not by sheer chance that ahhliuu wanna collect HER ASSIGNMENTS. So erm, jiayou Stella! xD

I think my fringe's weird. I feel weird too. WEIRD. You know... :/ Boo. Just ate instant noodles, the MSG-free one, and it tasted really bland. Arghhh. I don't feel like I've even eaten anything! And yes, school today was W.E.I.R.D too. I don't feel like I'm in school, I'm not paying much attention, I feel sleepy, I miss my highlighter a lot, I wish I could hear my brother's voice saying he's hungry or something... And new neighbours have moved next door a few weeks ago. They're kindda WEIRD (again) and scary. They are but teenagers, but probably older than me by a bit by the way they dress. And they play mahjong real loudly.. =x

Homework list today:
1. Elit - the scripts (Due Thursday)
2. Chinese - the 2 reading reports (Due Friday)

Homework to be completed by the end of today:
~~1. Bio mindmaps~~
2. History

You are my overdosage of love and daydreams,
Hold my hand and take me to fantasy.

For certain reasons, school makes me think of you. LOL.

Fault falls upon my head, I can't discern from right or wrong. For somethings that I should do, I am blamed. For somethings that I wished some people would do, I am still blamed. The wide world sucks, doesn't it?

2007-06-25T02:09:00.000+08:00

Again, from Shuangying's blog.

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Lol. Finished 2 bio mindmaps already. Left with the other 2, which are the ones harder to do. Homework still left undone, I'm not trying to save myself.

New timetable is up, but for no reason 3r6's timetable is down. So this might be good, or maybe not. I don't know what to bring tomorrow.

*screams* time is ticking away that I must be in bed now.

**sigh** Everyone is probably asleep by now.....

2007-06-24T15:04:00.000+08:00

Homework left.

1. SS
2. Pure History
3. Chem paper(x)
~~4. Bio mindmaps (100% out of 100% done)~~

Gay. And school starts tomorrow. Gay. Oh and I haven't done any donation collecting too.

& for all those rushing chinese like it's the end of the world, take a break. I'm not even doing. LOL. =/

Sorry for the lack of post recently. No one reads my blog so often anyway. So erm, to wrap up, yesterday was a fun day. I went out nearly the whole day. Zoo in the morning was fun. I love my dad and brother even if I don't show. My mum was working so she couldn't join us, but it was really fun and good bonding. Hahaha. It's family day carnival! Went for violin in the noon. My teacher said I did pretty good despite not practising at all. :S I'm gonna practise my violin mannn! And went out with Nicole to Parkway. Bought my shoes at only $15. HAHHA. But okay, I like it. =x

I don't like dark/bitter chocolate. It's so bitter. Life should be sweet, yes, sweet. Tiramisu made me feel full.

BYE! Blog again another time.

I think I kindda sort it all out by now.

2007-06-21T23:21:00.000+08:00

Saw the stupidity test on Shuangying's blog. Hahaha, and I took it for fun. And yes, I told you (countlessly) that 17 IS my lucky number. :D

Your Score Summary

Overall, you scored as follows:
79% scored higher (more stupid),
4% scored the same,
and 17% scored lower (less stupid).

You are 17% stupid. This means...You are far from stupid. Congrats on a great accomplishment!

Lol. :/

Yes, I was a fool to believe you.
But I'd rather be a fool than not to believe you.
That's how foolish I am.

I just can't love you like how she does.

2007-06-18T22:20:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Yujing!

Okay, short one. I'm gonna sleep after I finish up the english assignment.
Gonna sleep early. Like, before 12am.

Don't ask me, I don't love you.

2007-06-18T01:43:00.000+08:00

Heyyyyy! It's been a long day. A very long day. I'm blogging for yesterday. (:

While a part of me is tired physically, the other part of me feels refreshed.

Met Elaine at 1pm at White Sands. Ate KFC. Zhangke was late, and while we thought he overslept, he was actually at church. =X

Took bus 17 to downtown. Oh, it's 17th June and our dizi bbq pit is number 17. xD Err well, back to story, we walked like crazy to the other side of Pasir Ris Park and rented a double bike and a single bike. Zhangke rode the single bike while Elaine and I rode the double, with me sitting in the front. And I laughed like some madwoman in the beginning that I had no strength to balance the bike. Hahahaha.

Then we cycled around and reach this steep slope. For no reason I kept laughing, and I was kindda scared. Hahaha and I can't balance myself again. Then this group of guys walked past us and kept looking at us, laughing at us cos we can't get down the slope. Then okay, after that I regained my calmness and zoooomed down the slope, hahaha. :D

Then we cycled a round and came back to that stupid slope. Yes, stupid slope I say. I asked to go right or left. Elaine said left and I said right. I ended up steering too late and we ended up in the center. LOL. As in, we were straight in the center! Hahaha, but if we didn't stop in time we would've crashed into a tree. x_x

Yes, laughed until I could burn all my calories. Then we continued cycling until we reached this paradise on earth. The garden felt like it was isolated from the outside world. There were nobody, no noise around, except a gardener. LOL. Then, we recieved a phone call and had to cycle out of our paradise. Awwww I miss that place! Where we can sit down under the shade and forget the world. Hahaha.

Then people started showing up. While waiting Elaine and I isolated ourselves. We each made paper boats (hers was like nicer looking than mine =.=) and I let it set sail into the sea. But ahaha, water cuts through paper. Only the first wave, and both of our boats overturned and sank. Awwwww. :( If I can fold all my troubles into a boat, and let it sink into the sea, wouldn't it be nice?

While I was setting sail the boats, I looked at the sea. So wide, as if it was endless. I looked at the sea, and I realised how small I was. I looked at the sea, and saw only the surface, as it was unclear and the bottom of the sea couldn't be seen. Then I realised that seas and humans have something in common, the surface is beautiful, and the dirt deep down can't be seen. The sea, the sand and me, no one else. That point of view, made me feel inferior, I don't know why. There's this sudden fear that overwhelmed me. I... was feeling emotional. Lol. The birds in the sky, looked as if they had such a freedom to fly, but what they needed was to survive. The people in the world, looked as if they had such a happiness which came by, but still they feel discontented. Argh, I'm thinking too much.

Haha all right, after awhile Elaine's mum called her and she left. :/ Then the seniors and I played taitee. Lol. The barbeque then started. And the smoke and the smell of charcoal filled our noses. I was craving for food. The biking totally burnt my energy.

Eat and eat, talk a little, listen to different conversations, sitting down, thinking. Took a couple of photos.

Then I looked at the lamp post, one of the bulb had fused. I looked at the other pits, people are chattering with words I can't hear clearly. I looked at the sea, I felt lost. I looked at the waves, and they seemed to take me away. They curl and they curl, like how my feelings whirl and whirl. I was having mixed feelings, about many things. I felt lost, very lost. I was quiet that night. Really quiet. So much thoughts in my head I can't figure what they are, they seem to be flashbacks, they seem to be words, they seem to be people, yet they seem to be lies. I'm losing myself each moment the clock ticks a second away.

I looked to the other island of the beach, the lights on the island stretched into the sea, reflecting shining, glowing lights. Ah, so beautiful I thought. The lights glimmered in the sea. I looked up. The dark red sky was filled with clouds. Dark red. I wonder why it's tinted with red. There were no stars to point directions. No stars to smile at me tonight. The red sky... And while I was trying to enjoy the night of nature, I was awakened from my thoughts by the conversation the people near me had. Yet that mixed feeling still never left me. Although somehow I felt refreshed a bit.

Argh, I AM thinking too much. Stayed till late into the night. Like 11pm plus. Took 21 home with Yiliang, Zhilin and Lydia. Half of me wanted to stay, and half of me wanted to go. My dad took the final word to ask me go home.

This wave of mixed feelings in me, it's driving me crazy. I don't know why no matter how hard I try to think, I can't get the answer. There's this barrier in front I can't get past, and I'm stuck here.

Security in you,
None.

.....When the red sky roam our earth..

2007-06-17T03:33:00.000+08:00

I'm back again. x_x LOL.

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Your True Birth Month Is September

Thinking
Sensitive
Secretive
Systematic
Understanding
Good memory
Calm and cool
Does work well
Likes to criticize
Loves wide things
Kind and sympathetic
Hardly shows emotions
Concerned and detailed
Able to motivate oneself
Suave and compromising
Clever and knowledgeable
Quiet but able to talk well
Tends to bottle up feelings
Loves to look for information
Trustworthy, loyal and honest
Careful, cautious and organized
Choosy especially in relationships
Loves sports, leisure and traveling
Must control oneself when criticizing
Likes to point out people's mistakes

What's Your True Birth Month?

Aquarius - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people.
You're great at thinking up new things and activities to do with your sweetie.
You tend to let the little things slide in relationships... and focus on the bigger picture.

Your negative traits:

In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway.
You can never open up completely to someone - you have to keep parts of yourself secret.
You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved.

Your ideal partner:

Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise!
Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests... including you.
A true individualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks

Your dating style:

Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest - like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert.

Your seduction style:

Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next.
Insatiable - it takes a lot to satisfy your desires.
Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them.

Tips for the future:

Bring a little responsibility to your relationship - like showing up for dates!
Compromise a little. It would kill you to do things your lover's way for once.
Be aware of your partner's jealousy. Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes.

Best color to attract mate: Sky blue

Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's Your Love Profile?

You Are 37% Angry

You're occasionally angry, but it's really not an issue.
While you may give in to your temper once and a while, you're pretty mellow.
And as long as your anger doesn't effect your relationships, then it's probably in check.
You know that anger is a bad habit - and you don't engage in it often.

How Angry Are You?

You Are an Optimist

You definitely see the sunny side of life, even when things aren't going so great.
And while you may not be a realist, your optimism has really improved your quality of life.
You have the energy to take charge, solve your problems, and enjoy life for what it is.
Optimists are happier and healthier - so keep thinking positive!

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

Your Life is 35% Off Track

In general, your life is going very well.
You're quite happy with where you are and what you're doing.
And even if you get a bit off course, you're usually able to get back on track easily.

Are You Living The Wrong Life?

Your Luck Quotient: 49%

You have an average luck quotient.
There's been times when you've been extremely lucky... but also times when you've been very unlucky.
You probably know that you can make your own luck in life, if you're open to it.
So listen to your intuition as much as you can. It's right more often than you might expect.

How Lucky Are You?

** Oh, I just got noticed that the deadline for a part of english assignment is TOMORROW, 18th June. Like, OMG. -.- Whatever.

2007-06-17T02:40:00.000+08:00

Hahaaaaa, look, it's morning! x_x

Damn, I'm feeling restless.

So I decided to do a homework plan, and yes, to again (hopefully) motivate me to start and finish the frigging homework because Plan A failed. Hahaha.

So here comes, PLAN B!

Monday - Elaine: Gonna do history together?
SS, Pure History

Tuesday - Choir
Elit, Chem paper(x)

Wednesday - Choir
~~Emaths(x)~~

Thursday
English (x2)

Friday
Bio mindmaps

Hehh, dont ask about the (x) and (x2), and dont ask where my chinese homework gone. :P I ate it up. Hahahaha. *winks*

Saturday and Sunday are for rest, and finishing up undone homework that I couldn't finish, and yea to possibly get ready for the start of term 3. (Oh yeah did I mention I dread this coming day?)

And damn, before I know it, the end-of-year is coming up, so soon.

RAHHHHHHHH!

Here's the playlist I'm listening to. A treat for myself after the hardwork of planning my homework. -ahem-

Unbreak my heart, won't you, please?

2007-06-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

When countless goodbyes only fueled our love,

I'm gonna start my homework next week.
Or rather, I must.

Today was like the other days, as routine as usual.

The only difference was that.. Today, I love you more.

and when each hello took away every bit of exasperation.
That's when I realise I couldn't do without you.

And when people say we don't belong together,
who cares about them?
We can make it happen, and that's all that really matters,
isn't it?
We know that forever is where we belong,
forever together, you promised.

By the way, Happy Fathers' Day. :D
To all the great Dads out there, especially the greatest mine.

2007-06-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

I've given up. It's tiring. Easy for you, hard on me. I give up.

I feel like isolating myself with the world.

I had so much to blog before I logged into blogger, but I can't think of anything once I see this white box.

Whatever, let me be. Why would you care?

I smelt my defeat. I saw you smirk through all my tears, I heard you snicker through all my sobs. I tasted your laughter, and felt your insult.

2007-06-15T00:59:00.000+08:00

I skipped today's bbq. :/ Oh well.

-

How do we know if something belongs to us, or not? How do we know if something is ours, or not? How do we define them? By marking our names on it? Or by tying it down to ourselves?

I don't know.

But one thing's for sure. If something belongs to you, no matter how you let it go, how you lose it, or how you run away from it, it will still come back to you. That's what my mum used to tell me. Whenever I lost something and go to her crying, she'll tell me that as long as it's mine, it will come to me again.

But, what if it was something so precious, something you never wanted to let go, something you thought that would last you forever, which went missing? Would you cry, would you find, or would you die?

Then again, what if someone else was a contributing factor. Someone stole, snatched, cozened, cribbed, fleeced, purloined, swiped, thieved (whichever appropriate) your belonging, and made it theirs, so wide openly?

Was it jealousy that you feel? Was it anger, furiosity, rage, fury, indignation, resentment that you feel? Or was it umbrage and pique that you feel?

I don't know about you, but I felt as if I was breaking, cracking, bleeding and then...

Crushed.

Maybe it was never mine, for it never came back to me.

2007-06-14T04:14:00.000+08:00

10 days and counting, before the end of school holidays. Damn, 10 days. Do you think I can complete my homework? (Look below)

This is crazy. :P Yet I'm still lazy.

2007-06-14T03:30:00.000+08:00

Ah yes, homework. -.- I'm gonna post those stupid assignments here to (hopefully) motivate me to start on them.

English
Students are to participate in a discussion forum and submit 2 personal responses and 1 reply. Instructions will be posted on the e-portal by 25 June.
Editor's note: [Instructions here.]

HChinese
Students are to complete a book review on "Cheng Nan Jiu Shi".
Editor's note: There is still zuoye to complete, and those stupid essays. (Someone let me copy zuoye, I owe too much. =x LOL.)

Emaths
Elearning using Heymath eportal on Chapter 9 Coordinate Geometry. There will be an assignment posted online and students are to complete it by 25 June. Students will be assessed on the topic in term 3.
Editor's note: [HeyMath!]

Amaths
A Math students are to do a Math project on either Statistical Poster Design or Game Design.

Pure Chemistry
Mid-Year Examination Paper 2006

Pure Biology
Mindmaps for Cells, Diffusion, Osmosis & Enzymes (Each student to submit 4 mindmaps)

Pure History
To read Unit 3.2 on Impact of Japanese Occupation on Nationalism and complete 2 SEQs on topic.

Elective Literature
Students are to read "To Kill a Mockingbird" and complete an Unseen Prose Assignment.
Editor's note: What unseen prose assignment? =.=

Social Studies
To read up on chapter 4 of textbook (Conflict in Multi-Ethnic Societies) and complete SBQ exercise.

All right, that's it. I'll be striking out homework that I've complete. (which apparently have none, but will to come!)

ChenSiJin! Jiayou, complete the stupid assignments! MUG, YOU HEAR ME? MUG! And HARD!

2007-06-13T22:26:00.000+08:00

I was moody. Lol. WAS. Yeh, probably am again now. :/

Anyway, a few people totally made my day. :D Thankyou Nicky! For playing maple with me. LOL. & thankyou, for finding people to guildpartyquest with me. Thankyou Hanxiang&Stephanie, for joining in. :D And of course, thankyou the rest of the guildmates, it was fun, although I disconnected. -.-

I appreciated the little comforts, although not much, but it was full of sincerity. Unlike those unsincere remarks that probably told me that just-get-it-over-with-it attitude. Thankyou anyway, for letting me know who the person you are.

I find it hard to believe, that whenever I'm feeling low it's maple I turn to. And it's always because I know.... I know. (:

I'm starting to hate you, what caused the change? Was it me, or was it you? Or was it someone that changed you that changed me? Was it someone that changed you that changed all this? Or was it just me?

It all boils down to faith. I'm losing faith, yes I am. I'm doubting your faith, yes I am. Maybe I never had faith in you in the beginning.

You knew. You knew all along. You knew everything. But you just fucking denied.

Who are you?

If I can say, abra-ca-da-bra, and make all of this disappear, I will.
If I can say, abra-ca-da-bra, and go back to yesteryear, I will.
If I can say, abra-ca-da-bra, and take back everything I had, I will.
If I can say, abra-ca-da-bra, and make myself stronger, I will.
But I can't. I'm not a magician. But you're no better, you're just an illusionist.

2007-06-12T23:04:00.001+08:00

Today had been a long day.

Went Queensway. I'll save the details, they aren't important.

I don't have the heart to go on, but I also don't have the heart to give up.

There are so much I want to say, so much to express, so much to tell you. So much so that I don't know where to start. I don't know how to go on. I'm starting to feel cold, even with my jacket's on my back. I'm starting to feel so cold, there's no where for me to hide and take hold. If you can give me some time on its own, maybe I would still walk away. And then again, if I were to stay, you might not even take a word. So what's the use? I'd rather run away and resurface again once this whole toll gets over and done with.

That's my act of cowardice. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. It was really to much for me to take.

2007-06-11T22:23:00.000+08:00

I think, and I think, and I think again. Sheez, all this thinking is killing me. After all the thinking, I still don't know what I'm actually thinking about. -.- Gay..

Woke up at 8am+ today. Ate breakfast and rushed to Tmart. Then we went to Chuiying's house to do Amaths project. I didn't really contribute much :/, but Maylyn and I went to take away mac for the rest of them.

And I've got this big big red pimple, that is ugly.

Then I suddenly realised, there are so many bbq coming up. Might be skipping though :/. Too much bbq food causes cancer. :O

Anyway, went Raffles and then beach after that.

I drew Sijin Y _______ on the sand, but the sea took him away.

Haiz, and my freaking phone is spoilt when I got home. I couldn't press space. Urghhed. Have to like press until the button wanna pop out like that. -.-

I'm thinking of the car wash and dance thingy for my primary school alumni. Thing is that, the lazy me hasn't complete the alumni form. LOL. =x

I drew your name on the wall, but the cleaner wiped you away.
I drew your name on the clouds, but the winds blew you away.
I drew your name on the sand, but the sea took you away.
I drew your name on my hand, but as I showered the ink faded away.
So I carved your name in my heart, and you'll dance with me today.

There's a chinese version of this, but I deleted the message. I edited a little at the end, just so it rhymes. :D

2007-06-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

My aunt came over in the noon. Brought Japanese lunch for us. It's quite tasty just that I'm not used to it. Lol. Pasta and spaghetti - damn I'm craving now. Although I only just had dinner.

Went to my cousin's house. Baby Ashley looked at me until she cried. Do I look so hideous? :/ My dad said yes. -_- LOL. Rahhhh. Played Ninja Gaden on xbox, wahahahaa I defeated that stupid robot that I thought I could never defeat... But I never got past the next stage after that. -.-

Went Macpherson (not sure spelling) for dinner at a vegetarian restaurant. Yumm, the dishes were good. But the soup had this feeling that kindda disrupt the taste of the good food. =x My dad said that soup is good for health. =.= Then there was a guy singing in the restaurant. Little Elsa went over to sing together! Awwww, so cute! Also drank this mango ice blended drink, which made me totally bloated. It's like, it's a very very big glass. :/

I didn't know there was strawberry ice blended. Otherwise I would have drank it. Strawberries are love. :D

5184000, that's how many times a day I think of you. 86400, that's how many times a day I miss you. : D There's no numeral to tell you how much I love you, it's infinite.

2007-06-10T12:58:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 9am. Yes, I was kindda relunctant at first when I heard my alarm ring, but I would've regret if my dreams pulled me back. Got ready and had breakfast. (How long since I've had a proper breakfast?) The feeling was great. Maybe I should stop sleeping at 5am in the morning and start waking up early. Haha.

Went Pasir Ris CC, Barry booked the court. My brother asked him if the court was free, he went,"Free? I paid 12 bucks for it." LOL. Had fun, reallly. Time to exercise too. I'm kindda weak. :/

There were Tracy, Jovena, Barry, his fren, my brother, and I. :D Okay I didn't catch his friend's name so... :S

Ahhhhh. Fun fun fun! :D

Then I have the urge to play tennis. =x

Then it made me realise, primary school friends are much, much more innocent. They're friends we've known and spent our childhood years together. Times when we were still unknown to all the lies of the society. Times when we didn't know this, didn't know that. Times when we started learning all that we know today. It's like after so long we didn't meet each other, there were so much to catch up on! My childhood, without them, it'd be really boring, really. My forgotten childhood....

I'm glad I've got friends I can always count on. Really. Be gone those who wears an angelic mask over a devil's face, what are you compared to my friends without the masks? They may not be perfect, but they're those who are willing to brave the storm with me, together.

Loveeeees. :D

Waking up at 9am to play badminton with my primary school friends, TOTALLY WORTHED IT. XD

In life, it's the imperfection that makes life perfect.

2007-06-10T03:26:00.000+08:00

Went to the beach, pretty pretty skies.
Tired.

Life can't be explained in words, it works like miracles.
Yet for some, miracles are but crying and grieving.

Swimming in the sand, flying in the sea;
Walking on clouds, riding on winds.

If life is literal, there'd be no imagination.

I'll ride the wind to where it takes me.

2007-06-04T14:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Vivien! :D

Stay happy and cheerful always, my love! :D

June seems to be filled with birthdays, and my brother's one is coming up in another 22 days. :S Time is not passing by, it's flying at top speed by. Second week of the holidays, and I haven't started on my stupid holiday assignments, which I have the urge to burn because I hate doing them.

And ahh, this holiday seem to make me feel old. :/ Oh whatever.

I wanna catch the Harry Potter and Order of Phoenix cos the advertisement and posters are so so alluring. And I wanna read the final book of Harry Potter too, but uh. :( Oh I'll find someone to lend me. :S LOL. But doubt anyone will cos I take ages to read one book. =x

I'm seriously a lazy slacker. And just when I thought insonmia was going away, I slept like 6am this frigging morning. RAHHHH. I even heard my mum preparing breakfast. Geez. I think my whole body clock is out of battery. Gotta recharge it soon, or rather, now. LOL. How?

And btw, today's Elaine's and I death anniversary. Hahaha. 2 months already since we've been dead. This 2 months seem like eternity though, I thought it was more than that already. =x

And that person seems to be gone, forever, huh?

Ahhh, the times.

Nostalgic.

2007-06-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

Everytime I thought it's over,

memories fill me in.
the feelings overwhelming.
the times and laughters shared.
the cries for embraces had.
your beautiful smile radiate.
your constagious charm pervade.
your kisses indelible.
our tears unshed.
our love so mind blowing.

All these I'll never forget.
You're the meaning of my life.

2007-06-03T01:23:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away
Though you think it's over knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes 'round
Tell me...

Have you ever loved and lost somebody?
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry?
Can't you see-that's the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking?
I should know cause I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong
We should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realized
It was forever that I found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes 'round
Tell me...

Have you ever loved and lost somebody?
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry?
Can't you see-that's the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking?
I should know cause I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it sleep away
Can't you see
Even though the moment's gone
I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes 'round
Tell me...

Have you ever loved and lost somebody?
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry?
Can't you see-that's the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking?
I should know cause I loved and lost the day I let
Yes, I loved and lost the day I let
Yes, I loved and lost the day I let you go

That's Have You Ever by S Club 7 for you.

A couple of birthday wishes here (or rather belated birthday wishes =x)..

Happy Birthday Alison! :D
&
Happy Birthday Shuangying! :DD

Okay, so. I've been playing like mad lately and haven't been replying in msn. :S Kay, whatever. Not as if there're people who wants to talk to me anyway. :/

So. =/ If you people have anything -really important-, smsing me would be the wisest choice cos I might take about 4 hours before replying you on msn. LOL.

& ah, 4 more daysssss. :D

Everytime I let you go, you grab my hand again.
But everytime I'm holding on, you walk away.
Everytime I told myself this would be the last, you're the reason I gave another chance.
But everytime I gave you and I another chance, you gave it away.
Everytime I tried to ignore all the tinglings, you tell me you're here for me to hug.
But everytime I lean on you, you think of someone else.
Everytime I tried to unlove you, you tell me you love me.
But everytime I try to feel your love, someone else needs you more than I do.
Everytime I wanted to know the truth, you tell me she's just a friend.
But everytime you tell me that, am I not too, just a friend and not beyond?
Everytime I wanted to give up, you smile and tell me it's hope.
But everytime when I'm hopeful, you tell me all is about waiting.

Just sometimes, I need assurance too.
This is not taking us any where, any further, any closer.

But still I'm clinging on, to all the wait. Why? Because my heart's with you and I can't leave, I'll die.
I love you.

2007-06-01T02:31:00.000+08:00

I'm losing my sanity as days go by.

Was woken up at like 9am today. Went Orchard. Caught Shrek 3 at Cathay. Great show. "It doesn't matter what others think about you, and what they say about you. It's believeing that you are who you are, and that's all that really matters."

Played Gunz. Used to be better in swords than guns, now I feel as if guns are easier to use. :/ Geez. And I clicked my mouse until my fingers are aching.

So tired.

Sometimes people have to know, that the characters behind your game screens, are players too, they are also human, and they still feel. So what if you're some high level pro-whatever. You're just a big time loser cursing and swearing when you lose to a noob like me. :P Gay.

2007-05-31T00:24:00.000+08:00

once upon a time,
on a faraway island.
a FEMALE, S is walking on a creeeeppyyyyy path on a wet weather.
she took out an umbrella with letters J on it ( what a cool design man! )
suddenly! there was a strong gust of wind!
A MAN IN SUIT APPEARED!
he's a fan of J and took hold of S's umbrellla!
he has magical powers and flew up to the sky with the umbrella!
S quickly GRABBED his .......... HAND!
and.................. ( to be continued! )
-courtesy of juliet's blog.

CONTINUED.

And..... She fell in love with him! And he too fell in love with her! So the main in suit flew hand in hand with S, until they reached a beautiful island, which seemed much like a paradise on earth. So both of them lived happily ever after, without disturbance. And they threw the umbrella with letters J on it away cos all they ever needed was their love for each other!

HAHAHHA!

I was emotionally unstable today. Went to Tampines Mall and I was hating people. People in general terms, including myself and everyone else. I just hated everything and wished I was at home rotting instead of out there. Hated rich men's sons that believed money can buy him everything. Hated inconsiderate people that bumped into you and don't ever bother to look back to say sorry. Hated everything which irritated me, and actually everything irritated me. Asked my mum if she would pre-order the Happy Potter and Deathly Hallows, but I should've known, too expensive lah huh?

So I was in a "cold state" when I practically ignored what they were saying, questions they were asking, and I just acted as if they weren't there cos I was just.... emotionally unstable that afternoon. And then I took this book "Knock Yourself Out" which I think was quite a good book. Really would've made me laugh if I weren't so consumed in self-I-dont-know-what. Then she started asking questions about the Harry Potter book because she knows if I were to start a cold war I could do it all through the holidays. But all I did was walk away, even though my heart would love to stay. And turned out my mum became angry too cos she couldn't understand why I wouldn't give a damn when she already said she wanted to buy. /Problem was that, we can't buy, we could only preorder.

Ate ice kachang later, and caught the movie Spiderman 3 at Century Cineplex. I am really glad my cousins didn't talk too much during the movie, cos my aunt prepared sweets and lollipops for them to just keep quiet and watch the movie. Felt like a babysitter, oh well. The movie did took away all my damn-the-world attitude today.

And dinner made my emotional status at least stable enough. Uncle then drove us home, and I'm very tired. Watched about less than 5 mins of the 9pm ch8 show, while my father watched chU on the projector. (So yeah, we on'd 2 televisions in one living room, hahaha!) Then my dad switched to some seahorse documentary, which looked really interesting so I watched too. But I fell asleep HAHAHA. :/

Got up like an hour later, dragged myself to bathe and here I am, bored, tired, restless, and feeling more than what's-the-freaking-hell-wrong-is-with-me. Already getting over the fact that my computer's been tampered with, and I guess everyone has their time of the year to break loose and go crazy, like what I did today. Ha, sarcasm back at you.

But yeah, everyone has to unwind sometimes, life's too hectic to be lived like a late train.

I felt like bashing up myself, for everything I've done today, cos I don't feel me. And again I'm feeling sandwiched between two peanut butter bread. I hate this feeling when everything seems to go wrong, and all of it is my fault.

So, everyone else is perfect, but me. Right?

If I were at world's end, suppose no one would even remember I lived.

#1 P.S. At least I still smiled when I went to your blog and listened to that song, and even though you can't be there, I felt your presence so dearly.
#2 P.S. And the more I look at you, the better looking you are. :S

I could look into your eyes, tell you I'm fine. But I couldn't stop the tears, the moment you turned your back away.

2007-05-29T20:27:00.000+08:00

I'm sooo annoyed because my cousin came over and kindda messed with my computer. Changing the icons of applications and creating his own account, even downloading some anti-virus software because he says there are virus in the computer - It's fucking driving me nuts.

Firstly, I hate people touching my things without my knowledge. And secondly, I hate it even more when people touched and messed up my things. I've got issues with that. What's more, IT'S MY COMPUTER. My baby, my life. I couldn't live a day without using it. I can't. Serious, severe addiction, or love for my computer? Whatever. Cos I don't care what you think.

AND DIDN'T YOU KNOW? IT ISN'T POLITE TO JUST DANGLE OTHERS' THINGS.

I wish I could shout and yell and rant and holler, but I can't. Just because I'm a fifteen-year-old-already and I should know how to control my temper and not lose my cool. And because he's just a nine-year-old-cousin-of-mine and I ought to be more understanding. Yeah right.

I shouldn't be doing this but, if I don't let off all I wanted to, I think I might just murder my computer tonight. Because I can't stand it. I can't stand looking at my own desktop which I've been looking at nearly all my life, and that it all suddenly becomes so alien to me. The icons which I was just seeing yesterday, or rather, this morning, just turned into something else. That's not very nice. IT'S FREAKING UGLY!

And and, I totally lost my motivation to play any game at all. I felt like I don't wanna touch my computer anymore, because it doesn't feel mine. And the table's so sticky and all, the keyboard's so hard... I guess it just erks me, everything.

So I didn't do much today. Watched Night At The Museum again. Because I really wanted my cousins to stay away from my computer......

And I'll stop here because this could probably go on forever.

Walk away from me. Go away. Don't come near me.

"Sorry" isn't the wordplaster. It heals no wound, and covers no injury. For all you've done, I could have forgave you. Could have. But I hate your freaking big attitude that you think you're better than the rest of the world.

And oh, the paragraph above this isn't directed to my cousin. Just so you know.

2007-05-29T00:55:00.000+08:00

Yayyyy! Finally settled on my blogskin. :D

& Vivien's back! :D

&& I found out blogger's a male! *Shh, secret okay Juliet? xD*

&&& in less than 2 weeks time, I can get to see my love again, cos it's really boring me to tears out here alone!

So, it's the holidays already, and I've been seriously slacking my days away. Played Flyff with my brother and we are gonna hit level 30 when my mum forced us to stop playing. =x My dad also won a lucky draw held in his company. 4 tickets to catch Shrek 3 this coming Thursday! Hahaha, and before my mum told me that Thursday is Vesak Day, I didn't know it was even a holiday! (Since it's already school holiday for us.)

Might be going down to the food fair at EXPO -checks clock- later, since it's the last day. And we'll be going to Takashimaya on Thursday, for some family shopping! Hahaha.

Guess I'm stuck at home for the rest of the week, huh? :/

Oh where are you when I needed you most.

2007-05-25T14:36:00.000+08:00

Meet-my dad-Session sucked, quite a lot.

MrsLim said a lot of things about studies, but I didn't really go listen. She also said I can do better and that I'm not trying to put in my best effort.

And oh HANXIANG! Liulaoshi also wanted to talk to my parent. LOL. But she didn't tell me. -.- Then while they're talking Kinseng went to take a shot of it. -.-

Talked about my chinese, saying I generally passed up some of my homework. And that my chinese is the weakest among the girls, I should really put in more effort. Things like not letting my effort go to waste and all. Then she even talked about my other subjects, which were generally fine to me just that I know I can do better, but my dad said it wasn't up to expectations. (Okay la, it somehow didn't meet my expectations either.) What's the use of being smart if I do not put in effort into using the wits I was given.

So anyway, I decided to do goal settings now. Cos I'm really bored, and I know if I want my tennis racquet, this is what I'll have to do.

English A2
Hchinese B4
Emaths B3
Amaths B4
Pure History B4
SS/Elit B3
Pure Chem B3
Pure Bio A2

Realistic goal settings eh? I'll aim A1 for almost all of them during the 'O's. I will. And HAH, I'm going do it, I WILL do it. That's my tennis racquet!

And even though my class position was better than half the class, it still sucked as compared to overall level standard.

In the comments, Miss Van said I'm an introvert. Hahaha, actually, I'm an extrovert inside, it just depends on who the person is, and if the person able to break through my introvert barrier. However, thus far, I must say. Only Stella managed to do it. :D And Mongyie.

And if you see this, I'm missing you. :/ I miss the times we talk late into the night, about almost everything.

2007-05-25T01:21:00.000+08:00

Hahaha I made this blogskin really quick.

I totally neglected the numbers on the left hand side, which actually served to be the navigation. But I was lazy. :P

So anyway, I'm just playing around with skins and I'll change back soon.

In the meantime, my tagboard will be at the end of every post, and links will temporary be down. =x

And I don't really bother to change my tagboard colours, so ya, LOL. =x Whatever.

HEH!

/edited.

2007-05-24T15:18:00.000+08:00

Finally, it's the last day of school for the first semester of my hectic secondary three life, which marked so many things. Things like Miss Van's and Mr Loi's last day with us, our june holidays, our huge stack of holiday assignments, and not to mention, we're half a year older than last year, and that we really have to grow up.

We're not secondary two anymore, so last minute hardwork won't pay off. We're not fourteen anymore, we're soon/already fifteen-year-old-teenagers, and that means we're getting older. =x I don't wanna grow up, actually.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could stay young forever? Wouldn't it be nice if we could seek comfort from our parents when we needed some source of shelter? Wouldn't it be nice if we could do whatever the youths can and the aged can't forever? Wouldn't it be nice if we only had to study, and don't have to think about our financial status and all. Wouldn't it be nice?

Growth is like a bag, as we grow older, the bag gets heavier, and so does the burden.

Anyway, today rocked. (: Except for some things which arghed me. I'll miss my tables, the one with pencil vandalism and holes. I'll miss the canteen bench, the one which Stella, Hanxiang, Xueting and I would always be at during recess. I'll miss my class, even though noisy they can be, they're really fun and nice people to be with. :D I'll miss Miss Van cos she's our caring english teacher, and I'll miss Mr Loi, cos he always gives us free periods. =x Once Mdm Azean comes back, it means serious work. :/ But I do hope my maths grade do increase, cos getting an F9 and C6 for A and E maths respectively is kindda depressing.

I'll miss sitting beside scandal, cos we do the silliest things in the world, like singing Oh darling darling stand by me, which makes us laugh like crazy in class and during biology lessons. I'll miss sitting beside Elaine during chemistry lessons, cos we talk the craziest things like our diamond army, which was derived from the diamond molecular structure. I'll miss Maylyn, cos we can talk about anything to everything at all, and we talk crap and we talk love too. xD I'll miss the rest of everyone as well, cos they are the ones who made up 3r6! :D And last but not least, I'll miss my bestfriend, whom I probably won't see anytime so soon. I'll miss my 2 year wife, Vivien, cos she's at Vietnam now! Hahah. Take care everyone! :D (Okay, I sound as though I'm leaving. =x)

I'll miss daydreaming in class during maths lessons. I'll miss visiting my own world during all other lessons. I'll miss talking, I'll miss laughing, I'll miss thinking... Cos I can't probably be talking to myself, laughing at myself, and thinking nothing during the holidays right? And I think this post is getting a little too sentimental. Lol.

But most importantly, I'll miss my highlighter, which I probably won't be using in another month....

All right, enough of the missing. It's taking more than half of my post. =x

I didn't do 2.4, cos I didn't get changed into my PE attire. =x And the most meaningful thing we did today, was the letter to myself, done during the english period after recess. I want that song that Miss Van played, Elaine! xD =x

Had chemistry SPA. At first we all thought we were dismissed at 1pm, but we ended up in the science lab. So we did titration, and almost everyone cheated. =x Hahaha! Received our 2r5 class jersey, and haha! 17 rocks! :DD

Okay, so I finished my lunch while typing out this longgggg post, and everyone, happy holidays! :D

For all the faults you have, I accept you.
For all the mistakes you have made, I forgive you.
And for being who you are, I love you.
I'll love no other, cos no one else is like you.
No one else can love me like you do.
And in all, no one else drives me as crazy as you do.

I may have only 2 ears, but I'll give them to you whenever you need a listening ear.
I may have only 2 boney shoulders, but I'll give them to you whenever you need a shoulder to lean on.
I may have only 2 hands, but I'll give them to you whenever you need a helping hand.
I may be only 1 person, but I'll be there whenever you need someone to be there, to talk to, to confide in, to laugh with, to walk you through this lonely, fearful, jouney.
And I'll be there, so long as the world is revolving, and the universe is unfolding.

2007-05-23T16:08:00.000+08:00

Homework homework homework. :(

Well, not exactly. It's chemistry file and workbook (which should've been done on a consistency level.) I don't wanna do chemistry. :/ And bio workbook (pages that should've been done a long time ago.) Arghhhh. Homework piling up. =X

I'm so tired. Had to bring home so many books today!... Shoulder aching, hands breaking, legs collapsing. AND OH SHOOT! There's PE tomorrow. 2.4 I think. Shucks. I used to look forward to PE lessons but... not anymore.

Getting 2r5 class jersey tomorrow, I think. Lol.

Can't really remember what I wanted to blog. Tiredddd.

Oh and during bio today, scandal started singing "Oh darling darling stand by me". Then I asked her to sing from start.

Scandal: When the night has come
Me: And the mooon...

LOL. That kept us laughing for like... nearly half the lesson, and more than that. :P

Then scandal went to listen to the song on her handphone. It does have the word "moon"! XD But it's And the moon is the only light we'll see.

Hahaha. Ate spaghetti at home. FULLL. :D

&&&& MY HANDS ARE ACHING FOR CARDS! I like my winning streak. Well, kindda. =x

I can't forget you, I'm already missing you.

2007-05-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

Then you said you love me, but when I look into your eyes, they betrayed you.

Days are passing by slowly, everything's so meaningless. Tomorrow will be more boring than today. Argh.

First period was used to check our draft exam slip, and freaking hell have I got an F9. So nice eh? -.- I.dont.have.a.stupid.A.and.that's.how.stupid.I.can.get. And holly, guess what! I got for my L1R5.... 27! OMG! But uh, I should've expected that. :(

But!!! Don't fret! I'm gonna aim for 17 for the end-of-year, which is an improve of 10 score. Then for my sec4 midyear, I'm aiming 10! That's an improve of 7. And finally... 'O' levels, harr harr! I'm gonna get 6! HAHHAHAHA. Well, talk is cheap. :D

Less than my 3 cent worth.

Anyway, chem was up next. (Oh and I haven't file my chem file nor have I done my workbook.)We did some titration experiment and Elaine and I were fooling around with the methylane indicator and the HCl and the NaOH. =x As in, we redid the experiment over and over again just for the fun of it. Lol. Oh and what the! Chem ate half the period of SS.

Mr Lim let us watch some funny commercials. Lol. And yea, the lesson ended pretty fast cos we didn't do anything much. After recess was hchinese and we had this quiz. I.... don't actually understand the questions that she's asking. CRAP CAN. I think my chinese is seriously messed up and I gotta do something serious about it.

History was after chinese. We actually....... had devil's ears on our heads! (If you get what I mean but, actually it's a secret. xD) Sinned. So sorrrrry.

Played Uno, Elaine, Shihui, Maylyn, Chongmin and I. We played like we never played before. =x Haha, it's been long since I've touched Uno cards. & we kept sabo-ing each other. So fun. =x Okok, it's kindness week I know. Oh yeah, the rain pelted as if it hated the earth. So cold and windy.

English! We finished watching the show Mean Girls, and I really like the ending. Hahaha, still, let's live in reality. Continued with another movie, The Virgin Suicide. (Is it? Can't really remember the title, but the show's kindda creepy.)

Lunched in school with Wanyi and Sheryl, but actually we went Tmart to buy back. =x Had choir and wahhhh, I'm losing my voice because the note is so high!!!!!! (The highest note of the keyboard, please!) I think I zao xia'd a few times when holding the note. Agh. =x

And we'll be holding a concert next year. There'll be dance...... hahaha but I don't think I can dance, so clumsy. Got home and freaking tired I am. TIRED!

So I actually fell asleep in front of my computer, when I was waiting for it to load. -.- My mum kept yelling at me to eat my dinner in the kitchen, but I couldn't wake up and her voice starts to fade away into my dreams until.... the 7pm show's starting song pulled me back awake. Then I woke up and had dinner, for an hour. I finished eating when the show ended. =x

And Miss Kum says, it's those people who chew their food for 1 minute who doesn't grow fat. I think I'm one of them. :S

I don't know what you're thinking anymore. Probably....
Maybe I'm just paranoid because my highlighter's in my pencil case.

It doesn't have to make sense to you. :D

2007-05-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

Maybe my story ends here, probably cos' the author died of boredom. I guess if my life were to be made into a movie it would be the most undramatic, non-action anti-climax and perhaps even more boring than the most boring thing you ever came across. That's how sad my life can be.

Lonely? It isn't in the front page of my dictionary. The word's boredom. Even if you aren't lonely you can still feel bored. That's why boredom kills.

My whole life's only but doldrums.

Once you said, you'll catch me when I fall, and you'll hold me in your arms forever.
But lies are said as fast as promises break.

2007-05-20T12:42:00.000+08:00

I woke up cos my Dad was asking us to go to my uncle's house.

I looked down at my bed and guess what I saw............ A tennis racket! I thought I was dreaming and I asked my Dad who's racket was that. He told me it's his. Lol.

Jumped down my bed (not literally) to the racket and opened the cover. Wahhhhhh chrome white. Kindda old and dusty. Then I asked why he put it there, he told me cos I wanted a racket. :S

I want my own. :S

Anyway, I also digged out a reallly old racket from my praying room. It's made of wood and it's a collection (I think). Lol. So now I've got 2 old tennis rackets... and I failed my Amaths badly. I don't think I'll be getting a new one..... Or will I?

...... GTG! :D

2007-05-19T23:15:00.000+08:00

I can't help not thinking about you.

Couldn't sleep again this morning. Damn, insonmia so serious this time round. I think I slept around... 4 or 5am? I don't dare look at my clock cos everytime I turn to see it's an hour passed.

Anyway, woke up and started bloghopping. It's been so long since I've done that. Sorry if I hadn't been very active in tagging. ^^ Played Flyff, and I think that the graphics is really, really, better than maple. =x

And I forgot to wear my spectacles to violin. =x Oh man. And I can't really see the notes from my scores, and I kept playing wrongly. It's as if I'm playing them by memory. (Thing is, I hardly practise. But that's gonna change. I'm going to practise hard. I wasted 2 years learning slowly, I needa fast forward now.) At least, my teacher allowed me to finish the whole piece. It's like a remix of Beethoven and Mozart. :/ It's hard to explain so...

Got home and I didn't really had lunch this afternoon.

Me: Is that lunch on the table?
Dad: Uh.
Me: Huh? Not breakfast?
Dad: Breakfast and lunch eat together la!

So, I had pancake for brunch.

My next meal was at evening. Noodles, which ain't so filling. The reason why my stomach is panging now.

Ah, this post is crap.

We can act as if nothing had(an experience) happen - that's what all of us are good at.
But we can't act as if nothing did(the executed) happen - that's human nature.
Tears that smeared our faces - that's reality.

But everytime I do, it makes my heart tear.
It's not that you don't belong to me, it's that you belong to everyone else.

2007-05-19T00:06:00.001+08:00

It's not yet Christmas, but umm, Fuji and Yuuta! :D

Ryoma goes classical. :D

Tennis.

All pictures copyright respective owners. I found them on photobucket that's why I've got no information on it. =x

2007-05-18T20:40:00.000+08:00

Pretty late today, and I took bus 17. Only thing's that, you probably aren't taking the same bus anymore. :/

So I got to school around the pretty late time, and after flag-raising there was this little prize giving to distinctions for some IT test. They said there were more distinctions this year, I said the paper was easier for them too. =X Must be the case!

Good things never last. Amaths was some ultraaaa slacking period. Almost every group were playing cards. And the teachers afterwards(following lessons) forbid us of doing so, not that we did stop, anyway. =x And I don't know why UNO is allowed and poker cards are not. I mean, they both function the same, don't they? More or less whatsoever. -.-

And waoh, once I start, I don't feel like stopping. My hands are itchinggggg for cards. =X

History lesson was as boring as can be. Although nearly half the period was used for photo taking. Man, I look freaking ugly in every class photo taking. And I've a pimple! In the informal shot, Maylyn and I made a twist sign to cover up my pimple. :S

EL was checking of some scripts and Mean Girls! Though we didn't complete watching today either. :S Rawrrr, it's a goood show. CME was some assembly talk. Did surveys during SE. Andddd, was late for hcl like nearly half an hour. =x

Went straight home and cooked maggie mee. Chatted a bit and went to sleep.

& I love my brother, for whatever he does, he always manages to coax me.
And I love the way he laugh with me when we do silly stuffs. :D

Me: I don't want see you anymoreeeeee.
Bro: Hahahahaha.
Me: -takes towel and cover my face and stand in front of him- I can't see you! You can't see me! I don't want to see you!
Bro: Nooooo I can see you.
Me: -covers towel over him- No now you cannot!
We: Hahahaha.

Okay, silly, but I love it. :D

By the way, it's 11.15pm now. I forgot I was blogging just now. =x

2007-05-17T14:31:00.000+08:00

Was high today, and sorry if I offended anyone with my totally nonsensical imagination. =x

First lesson of the day was replaced by Mr Chua's serious speech. And argh, my english overall sucked. To hell with midyears!

Double bio lesson was the corrections of bio paper. Then we had the ever-interesting chem. Lastly, 2 periods of A/E maths were free periods. :D

Mr Loi gave us this quiz, and I solved it - in the toilet. No, I didn't do it sitting on the toiletbowl. Lol. So cooool.

And lastly, batman is taller than sr. =x

Okay scandal, sr is revived. :D Batman saved him (or was it my love?) LOL. Kidding!

2007-05-17T00:23:00.000+08:00

Heh, alright. A more calm and perhaps less obscure post.

I am retarded, for I smiled at even your email. LOL. Hell, that was reallllllly irresistable. I read back the past conversation we had, and realised I've been speaking much like a fool. I guess I have always been one, all along, eh?

One word, awkward.

Actually it's not your profound english that attracts me, it's your diction and the way you describe things and relate it to life - well, I guess there'll be a higher mountain somewhere else, but I'm more than contented for having you around.

Anyway, we still look at the same piece of sky.

The only difference is that you and I, we live in three worlds.

2007-05-16T17:17:00.000+08:00

Yay, blogger is up and running smoothly again.

Anyway, "hidden" should be accepted for the meaning of veiled because..

Veiled
–adjective
1.
having a veil: a veiled hat.
2.
covered or concealed by, or as if by, a veil: a veiled woman.
3.
not openly or directly expressed; masked; disguised; hidden; obscure: a veiled threat.
4.
lacking clarity or distinctness: veiled sounds; a veiled image.

The marker/person giving the mark/person who set the marking scheme sucks. At least please check up the fucking dictionary before saying that the answer is unacceptable. What can I fucking do when I'm back home now. -.- The answer wasn't accepted just now anyway, I heard someone request.

English result was gay, I under-performed. Badly. It was a fucking easy paper but I just fucking got so low. Over-complacency eh? :/

And I failed 2 papers straight.

MATHS is unsuitable for the mathematically faint-hearted people, like me.

2007-05-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

I'mmmmm suffering from insonmia. Argh.

If I were a painter
I would paint my reverie
If that's the only way for you to be with me

We'd be there together
Just like we used to be
Underneath the swirling skies for all to see

And I'm dreaming of a place
Where I could see your face
And I think my brush would take me there
But only...

If I were a painter
And could paint a memory
I'd climb inside the swirling skies to be with you
I'd climb inside the skies to be with you

Norah Jones - Painter Song

So beautiful.

2007-05-15T22:01:00.000+08:00

Would you run with me and never look back
Would you be there to love to be with me
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you'll always be the one to take my breath away

Damn, Mediacorp has always got nice songs by Redwan Ali that are so hard to get my hands on.

2007-05-15T13:33:00.000+08:00

Today was a blast. I'm back home so early. It's only like 1.30pm.

PE was a free period. It was raining and we didn't go down and the teacher didn't even probe on it. I guess it was good. :D Bio was next and I'm kindda disappointed, somehow, I knew I could've done much better. There was this turgor pressure page that I didn't really put my heart into doing (I only did the drawing and I didn't get any mark from it), and how that zero has effected my whole paper soooo badly. :( It was a 9-mark question in all, I think. Geez, if my soul was in a much better condition..

EL was watching Mean Girls. Lol, nearly the climax when it was recess. Recess had nothing much to look forward to actually. :/ I just wanted to continue the movie. =x HCL after recess and uh, I failed my main paper again. But good thing I passed my overall, which is, still a borderline pass as compared to people sitting around me. -.- I guess it's Chinese that always puts me down, huh? For the reason that I hate it so much, I guess hatred bears its own vengeance too.

Baaah, if I could count on my English, if only I had better English, I would probably not have cared about Chinese a single bit. But still the blood that flows within me, I know Chinese is sooo not my thing. C6. Ah, better than a D still, I s'pose.

History was again another smack of reality. Maybe I'm not cut for History studies. Lol. Luck just pulled me through Secondary 2, and luck left me for my own good. So now I regret, maybe I should've taken Triple Science. That was what I initially aimed for, how I have side-tracked and got lost.

Ah, regret and regrets are what we human are best at, aren't we? If the 33 SPAs could guarantee me a happy life I don't see why I was gonna be so afraid of it in the past. And now even History can't secure a place in my future. I wish I was pretty much dead and dreaming.

Physics eh? VS History. I think Physics would've won and taken a toll of some joy. Unlike my pools of sorrow over the past which we are learning.

I could use a little love, if love was too much for you to take.
A fool I must have been, a fool I probably will always be.
At least my love remains true.
But for what use? All might be lies, your lie, your deceit.
My angel flew away.

Supppose we're too young to love, ain't we?

2007-05-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

'Said you'll love me, but oh, what did you do?

Tears you've made me cry, leaving me nothing but broken hearted.

'Said let's walk away, we're drifting apart too far.

Never you known, words that hurt the heart probably not my own.

The heart that belonged to you, oh, why did you do it?

Don't you feel the pain, casted upon me, casted by you?

Don't you feel for the love, the happiness, anymore?

S'pose if this the way you want it be, I'd say why not?

Then you say I don't love you no more, oh, whose words do they belong?

Have I loved you not enough, have you loved me more than I did?

Were you the only one who took the oath and made the promise?

Did you even upkeep the oath, did you?

Now, why is it me that you blame so?

You're making yourself so difficult, I find it contradicting myself too.

Now won't you kill me, my soul that belonged to you?

Since you don't love me no more, I can't find a reason to live anymore.

For you're the reason why I breathe, and now I'd rather die to have your love shaken apart.

Won't you say you love me, no more?

2007-05-14T21:24:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! :DDDDD

Yay, I love you laopo. :D

2007-05-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

Everytime I dream I feel as if I'm into another world, and everytime I wake up I yearn to go back to sleep, even though sometimes those dreams weren't pleasant, at least they felt so real, so peaceful for me to just live forever in. Dreams could probably be the most innocent, intangible things of my life, I have much more than enough of all the acts people put up each day.

I, myself, don't recognise who that ugly person who stares back at me in the mirror is anymore. All I see is someone with a mask, tattered and torn, and probably lost in the worlds of the outside.

Why is life made, yet done so complicatedly?

--

Anyway, my blogger is still not okay. -.- Can't really blog properly (or so I feel).

Heck, my name analysis. :D

Although the name Sijin creates idealism and the urge to help others, we emphasize that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a moody disposition.

This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the nervous system, heart, lungs and bronchial area.

Your name of Sijin creates a very sensitive, inspirational, and idealistic nature.

You have an appreciation for all the fine and beautiful things in life, and could excel in music, art, drama, or literary undertakings, where you could find an expression for your deeper feelings that you would not find otherwise.

As a result of your love of the out-of-doors, you would experience the most peace and harmony out in the quiet of nature.

Your sensitive nature causes you to lack self-confidence, and to withdraw from arguments or turmoil, as any discord reflects quickly through your nervous system.

Lol, I guess it's still true, some parts.

I'm not like you, at least I try my best, even if I don't wish to. We've walked too deep into the jungle, haven't we? So deep that inside of you I see so clearly, so deep that however you try to hide I can exploit. I'm sorry. Then, another one walks away, and probably lost in their own world of perfection with other souls sharing probably not the same dream.

I know myself not enough. Not to say, others, who wear their masks everyday. What makes me think I know who they are?

Wake me up, somebody, please. Let me come to my senses. I'm too afraid of the darkness I can't go on like this anymore.

2007-05-13T16:45:00.000+08:00

I had 2 very weird dreams, both of which are quite interlinked. Lol.

I dreamt that in both dreams, the world is gonna vanish and we're going to die.

Lol. But in both dreams they were decorated with elements that probably made dying so much more interesting, than just dying.

Shall save the details here. :D So personal. Lol.

& Happy Mothers' Day! :D

At the ends of the world, would you be there?

2007-05-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

Life never fails to disappoint.

You, are not even an exception.

I guess the older you get in life, the more engrossed you put yourself into, too.

But then again, the too engross you become, the pain too deep it is felt.

Then tears form and they flow, but who would be there?

They cry too at their own disappoints in life.

Ah. Sad life. All of us, huh?

Where'd all our happiness go? Bottled up in some pandora box? Or did it even escape in the first place?